Air Tanker Orgasm

Friday night I went swimming...in my bed.

I'm sitting here trying to decide how best to describe what happened between Friday night and Saturday morning. One vision keeps coming to mind, and it's almost vulgar. Before I get to that, let me explain what preempted it.

I talked to my friend Paul earlier last week and he seemed annoyed at me. Paul is friends with Madonna, and I thought he was mad because Madonna said that I was blowing her off. I felt badly so I asked her if she would like to get drinks on Friday night.

I met Madonna at Jaleo for two drinks, then we headed to Rocket Bar to play shuffle board. The bar was packed and all the tables were being used so we settled for a few rounds of beers and darts (cricket). I am happy to report that I have finally found someone who is worse at darts than I (West LA: me or I??? - changed to "I" post comment!).

The night started out a little slow, but after Madonna got a few drinks in her she loosened up and I had a really good time. My one complaint is that Madonna was dressed like she was going to the grocery store. I like casual, but she was a little too casual. She has a great figure but hid it behind baggy clothing.

Around 1am we were feeling no pain and decided to go back to my place. The cab ride was a ten minute make-out session, and when we got to my street I threw a wad of singles into the front seat and we spilled out onto the sidewalk. Somehow we made it into my bedroom and our clothes flew off in all directions. It was one of those nights where you simply can't get undressed fast enough. A combination of falling and undressing that involves a lot of tugging, unbuttoning, and tearing.

Side notes: I would like to point out two things. The first is that Madonna had on granny panties again. The second is that once they came off her bush was still huge! What's going on here? Cut it, cut it, cut it!

I was not expecting much from Madonna in bed because she was so tame the first time. However, I was pleasantly surprised on Friday by a total lack of inhibition. Maybe she was shy the first time, or drunk this weekend, or both, but it was like a totally different girl showed up. We were flopping around, there was plenty of energy, a little dirty talk, and just the right amount of moaning.

On the second round of the night Madonna got on top of me and started grinding away. She's a pretty tall girl, about my height, so when she got moving the bed really started to squeak and knock against the wall. It was almost three in the morning and I was afraid that my tenant was going to give me the old "broom stick on the ceiling" treatment for keeping her up all night. I grabbed Madonna by the hips and pulled her down onto me tightly, hoping it would lessen the sway of the bed. Just then Madonna let out scream, and I was totally unprepared for what happened next.

Let me try to give you the visual. Have you ever seen video footage of the park service fighting forest fires? You see the blaze, then an air tanker plane swoops in low and opens up it's bay doors and enough water to fill a few Olympic pools dumps out all at once. Then the plane banks hard and lumbers off out of frame. That's pretty much what Madonna did to me on Friday.

After she screamed, Madonna let go an incomprehensible amount of fluid. It just exploded out of her all at once. It hit my pelvis then flowed backwards between my legs, down either side of me, and a frothy stream ran up my stomach and pooled in the center of my chest, which she smeared around like she was finger painting. I don't know what possessed me but I ran my right hand through the puddle, licked my hand to taste it, then ran my hand across Madonna's mouth. She licked my hand pretty much clean. The verdict is still out as to whether that was hot, or simply too much.

This is the second time in a year that I was surprised by "female ejaculate", so I decided I needed to do a little research. Essentially, what I have found is that doctors have no idea what the fluid is, where it comes from, or how it is propelled from the body. The evidence is all inconclusive. They seem to think that the amount of fluid ranges from 1-10 tablespoons, but there is no way Madonna let out just ten table spoons. It took two towels to sop it up, it must have been two or three cups. I seriously think it's time to replace that mattress.

Some of you have asked "What's your point NN? Are you bragging?". No, I'm not bragging. My point is, and I quote Forest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."