Cracks In The Armor

I realize I've taken a long break, but between the new job (which for every hour worked shortens my life span by two) and things going well with HW, I haven't had much time or material to write.

However, in the past few weeks things with HW began to implode, so I thought I would share.

The Good:
Since meeting in October, HW and I have gotten along rather well. The most notable trait was that HW never gave me a hard time about anything. We always seemed to be on the same page. We did a lot of fun things together, she was adventerous, and I always enjoyed hanging out. She gave me plenty of space, but was always up for hanging out.

Cracks In The Armor:
HW started to show some cracks in the armor right after she bought her condo. I know what she makes at work, so when she started spending lavishly on her new place, especially on her new furniture and kitchen renovation, I knew that her parents were significantly helping her out. This isn't my issue, because it's not my money (and will never be mine), but it showed me that she can't live within her means, and that was a turnoff. The second, and more annoying thing, was that she was wasteful with her spending. She would buy things then decide she didn't like it, put it in a closet, then buy another (though often nearly identical) item. This was the case with coffee tables, lamps, lighting fixtures, etc..

The other huge issue is that HW can't make a decision. A perfect example is the color of her large living/dining room. After she bought the place I helped her paint the room, which took a whole day. Two days later she decided she didn't like the grey she picked and painted the whole area a nearly identical grey. Two days after that she again decided she didn't like Grey #2, and painted three walls a third grey. The next day she decided she didn't like Grey #3, so she painted the whole place Grey #1 again. Mind you, all three colors were almost identical, it's not like she went from blue, to red, to green. It was like painting the room the same color four times, it just didn't make any sense.

Strike One:
One night a few weeks ago we had our first real fight. I drove through traffic to her house after work to pick her up for dinner. I parked the bike out front and she came down from her condo in a skirt, looked at the bike, and had a minor temper tantrum about having to wear a helmet. This never bothered her before, so I didn't understand. At dinner she confessed that she didn't like the bike because it was uncomfortable and made her back hurt. I enjoy the bike, and riding, so it's important that I be with someone who also does, so this was strike one. Do I like the bike more than her? Tough question. The bigger issue is that she knows how hard it is to park in her neighborhood, so her tantrum told me that she cares more about her being uncomfortable for a ten minute bike ride, than me having to drive in circles for 30 minutes in her area in my car searching for parking.

NN Fucks Up:
Not everything is HW's fault. One night a few months ago HW suggested we go to the Hampton's for a weekend. I then launched into a twenty minute diatribe about how much I hate the Hamptons. How it's far away, hard to get to, exhorbitantly expensive, and filled with the most obnoxious New Yorkers. A week later Uncle Charlie emailed me and asked if I wanted to go to his house in South Hampton with him and a bunch of other people, and of course I said yes and went. Clearly, this did not go over well.

I suppose I just don't like the Hamptons with HW.

Strike Two:
Knowing that things were a little stressed, I asked HW if she would like to take my boat out for a weekend. I said we could sail to Annapolis, spend a night there and go out for dinner, then sail to a secluded inlet and anchor for a night and cook dinner on the boat, then sail home on Sunday. She said "I have a confession to make, I don't really like the boat, and don't think I could spend a night on it".

So she doesn't like my bike and won't ride with me, and she doesn't like my boat and won't sail with me.

Foul Tip:
After a few stressed weeks due to the conversations noted above, I took HW to Chuck's beach house for the day during one of those days that it was 105 degrees. We hung out on the beach, had some beers, and swam. She said about ten words the whole afternoon. The next day I was talking to Chuck and he told me that HW was quiet to the point of being rude, and that she "sucks".

So my friends don't like her.

Gather My Stuff:
After Chuck gave her two thumbs down I decided a breakup was inevitable, so I made up some excuses and collected most of my "stuff" from her house. This included a ladder and painting supplies from my help with Grey #1, some clothes, and my Canon digital SLR that she borrowed.

Costa Rica:
Somewhere in the middle of all this fun, HW asked if I would like to go to Costa Rica in August together.

In my mind, the answer was no for four reasons. 1) I have a bike and like to ride in the summer when it's nice out. 2) I have a boat and like to sail in the summer when it's nice out. 3) Let's go to a warm climate in the winter, when it's cold in DC, not when it's nice out. 4) Who the fuck wants to fly towards the Equator in the middle of August!

Luckily, I had an excuse. I may have to fly to China in August for work, but don't have an exact date yet, so it wouldn't be a good idea to book travel and then have to cancel.

Two days later HW booked a trip with three girlfriends to Europe instead.

Bike Weekend:
To say things were "stressed" would be a severe understatement when I left for my annual bike ride last Thursday. We went out for dinner the night before, had sex a couple of times before going to bed, but it wasn't necessarily a fun evening.

Being on a motorcycle with nothing to do but mull over a deteriorating relationship isn't necessarily a great time. I like thinking things over, but sometimes you need outside input, an you just can't get that riding 70 mph for ten hours at a clip. You're alone on an island even though three good friends are just a couple of feet away from you.

So I'm not sure where I stand at the moment. For every reason I can think of to stay with HW, I can think of one to break up with her.