Halloween Part-I

I'm all Halloweened out. I celebrated twice this year, which apparently is one too many times. I went out Saturday with some friends in Georgetown and wound up at this pretty wild house party on P Street. Then Monday night I flew to Detroit and went out in Ann Arbor with D-ron.

I usually have a Halloween party at my house but this year my sis and I had a party at my place in September, so we opted out on Halloween and instead organized a field trip to a bar in Georgetown.

This year I decided to dress up as my friend C-roc's 5 year old son. I bought a kids set of super hero PJ's and a cape. The outfit was twelve sizes too small and looked hysterical. The downside of such a tight outfit was that I had a permanent wedgie, my bits and pieces were clearly visible, and I had no place to put money, a wallet, or a phone. This would come back to haunt me on Halloween II.

As always, everyone was amped up for Halloween. We had about 20 people meet up at the bar and the owner (a friend of ours) hooked us up with tons of free drinks and shots. At midnight my sister got a text from one of her friends who was at a party in Georgetown on P Street. He had extra invitations so we closed out our tabs and eight of us got in a cabs and headed over.

The party was at this huge mansion. This wasn't your typical house party with a couple of kegs and an iPod playing on the stereo. It was basically like a wedding. There were two large tents in the yard connected to the house. There was security at the doors, caterers walking around with finger food, and three or four open bars staffed by incredibly good looking women who I was told were all San Diego Charger Cheerleaders (not sure if that's true, didn't want to seem like a tourist and ask one of them). The most over the top part of the party, though, were the guests. Everyone was about my age and dressed in high-end costumes. I would say that 20% of the girls there were dressed as Playboy Bunnies and wore only thongs and bras. I saw a couple of girls that had on only a thong and had their chests airbrushed. You couldn't swing a dead cat by the tail without hitting three drop-dead gorgeous, semi-naked, girls.

I was standing in the dining room talking with one of my sister's friends when this girl walked by in the tightest fitting one-piece bathing suit I've ever seen. I had to check to make sure it wasn't painted on. When I confirmed my sister's friend (a female, just to clarify) said something like "I think I can see her asshole", a reference to high tight her costume was. I said "Really, I can't", so she reached out and stuck her finger up the girls ass and said "right here". She didn't touch her ass cheek, or graze her crack, she stuck her finger between the girls but and touched her asshole. Her index finger actually hit pay dirt. Needless to say, when the girl finally came down off the ceiling she was pissed, and naturally thought I was responsible. She turned and looked at me and I threw Sis's friend right under the bus. The bouncers were called over and we were both reprimanded but not ejected (surprisingly).

Shortly after the chocolate starfish incident a girl who was in the periphery of our circle all night come over to me and said "I just wanted you to know I find you very attractive". Obviously, I question anyone's judgement who looks at a grown man in a child's super hero costume and finds it attractive. However, this is what Halloween is all about, and fifteen minutes later we were in the kitchen making out. As a side note, I really liked her approach and will definitely use it.

The girl was dressed in a tight black stretchy outfit with ears and a few other props, but I never really understood what her costume was. She was a mythical character in a book, but I didn't know the book, or the character, and decided she was cute enough that it didn't matter. Let's call her Halloween. Halloween is 28, only 5', very thin, with long black hair, darkish skin, and great eyes. They are brown, but really light, almost blue. She works for a not-for-profit here in DC.

After being shooed out of the kitchen by the caterers Halloween and I went back to the party for another hour then hopped in a cab and headed back to my house. Once at my place we went to my room and got naked. We were both a little tipsy so there was a lot of fumbling around and bumping into each other. Eventually Halloween asked if I had a condom, so I grabbed one out of my dresser, put it on, we had really clumsy sex, then passed out.

My alarm, still set for weekdays, went off at 5:30. I rolled over and turned it off, took a drink of water, then flopped back down to bed. Halloween was sleeping on her stomach with just a t-shirt on. She's a petite girl, and her ass was staring up at me. Long story short, and I can't explain why, before I really knew what was going on I was licking her ass. I guess the evening had an ass theme. I don't think I've ever done that before, it was just not something that ever appealed to me, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. As a first, I wasn't sure what protocol was but I fingered her at the same time, which she didn't seem to mind. After a few minutes I rolled her over and went down on her, and after she came she rolled me on my back and gave me a handjob. Normally I would feel like I was short-changed, but I was OK with the handy.

We got out of bed at 9am, had a cup of coffee together, then I walked her to the Metro. We exchanged numbers and have plans to go out tomorrow night.

More on Halloween later.

Laissez Faire and Key West

The lady who knocked over my bike finally called me last night, though our conversation wasn't very productive. She blocked her outgoing number and wouldn't tell me her name, then went on to deny responsibility for the damage. I can't say this was a surprise given how difficult it was to get her to contact me. When I told her that I could clearly see her on video knocking over the bike, then asked how she could deny causing the damage she said "I can't comment on that now". I said "OK, then you can explain that to the police, I'll file the report in the morning, have a good night." then hung up. An hour later she called me back (blocked number) and asked me to email her the repair estimate. She said she can't afford to pay me the $300 all at once, so I gave her the option to pay me over three weeks, or to call in a credit card to the dealership. I can understand that she may need to pay me over time, but I think she's low-life scum for making me track her down and threaten her into standing up and taking responsibility for her actions. Show some balls, lady.

I'm giving her until the end of the week to make this right. If she doesn't take some action by then I'm going to chain her bike to the rack and call it even. I will certainly derive $300 of satisfaction knowing that she's stranded in a parking garage on a Friday night. I don't feel like involving the police as it will probably cause me more aggravation than the bike damage itself.

After the past few lame dates I've become pretty bearish on dating in general. Between Sausage Fingers, BII, Asia, Princeton, two girls I met in NYC a couple months ago, and a girl I met out with my cousin the week before last (I haven't mentioned her before), I'm discouraged enough that I have been hunkering down at home. Given the choice between sitting on the couch and reading or going out with another mediocre chick, the couch wins every time.

My friend Uncle Charlie has what I call a Laissez Faire approach to dating, and it's starting to make sense to me. Basically, he doesn't do anything, he just "lets it be" and takes whatever comes down the path. However, being a millionaire (or even a billionaire at this point) I think his path is being traveled by different girls than the ones strolling down mine.

Neither of us are the type to sit on our haunches and wait around for shit to happen when it comes to most things in life, but Uncle Charlie has always been this way and it's worked out for him before. Whether I intended to or not, I seem to have taken up the practice.

Moving on.

With my new job that allows me to work from any place I like, coupled with my complete lack of tail here in DC, I've been toying with the idea of renting a house in Key West and moving down there for the month of February or March. The idea popped in my head a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to come up with one good reason not to do it. I found a reasonably priced house for the month with a pool and a fenced in yard within walking distance of Duval Street. I would pack up the dog and drive down with my bike on the trailer and work pool-side for the month. I haven't broached the topic with my manager yet but I don't think he would have a problem with it.

Have to see how this pans out.

Princeton and BII

Pretty uninspiring few weeks here in DC. I don't know if it's the weather, or what, but I'm not very motivated lately, for dating or much else.

Last Saturday I had a guy's outing in Annapolis. Two friends and I sailed my boat to Annapolis harbor and met up with two other friends who sailed down in their boat and we spent two days at the Annapolis sailboat show. I've never seen such gratuitous rum consumption in my life. A few more days in that atmosphere and I would have been brushing my teeth using Gosling's and pouring Sailor Jerry in my cereal.

Two weeks ago I was out in Georgetown with C-Roc playing pool at a bar and we invited two girls to play with us. I ended up getting one girl's number and made plans to meet up with her last Saturday night, which was obviously an issue since I also had plans to be at the boat show. Saturday evening at about 7pm I got a text from the girl asking if we were still on for 9pm and I had to call her and explain how I forgot about out date. She was cool about it and we rescheduled for last night.

The girl is young, she turned 22 just a couple of weeks ago. She's cute, 5'2", half black half white, freckled, OK body, long wavy black hair. She's super bright which somewhat counters how young she is, but not completely. She went to Princeton so that's what I'll call her.

Princeton and I met out at Zaytinya last night for drinks and some appetizers. The night began and ended with an awkward ass-out hug, but everything in between was pretty normal if not a bit boring. We covered the usual bases: what do you do, where did you grow up, where do you live, what foods do you like, etc.. You know, standard conversation that you basically have to cover to know someone, but that makes you want to claw your ear drums out.

If nothing else the date taught me that the standard "meet for drinks" date is boring as shit and needs to be removed from the line up. Aside from being expensive (drinks and 4 apps were $116 with tip) it always turns into a Q&A session. My new rule is that if I have to get drinks for a date it has to be at a bar with shuffle-board or darts or a pool table, just some sort of activity to do while we drink and talk. I can't sit through another date like last night.

Tonight I have plans to meet BII out for, you guessed it, drinks after work. I'm currently jockeying to change venues to a dive bar with a pool table. BII did have one funny comment when we were making plans. We were going to meet after work at 6pm, but I had a meeting moved so I asked her to push it out to 7:30. She responded back "Sure, but I might be dressed for the 2nd half of the night, hope you don't mind". Does that mean she's coming in costume?

I hate being the early date. Early date guy is the sucker, he wines and dines the chick. Second date guy is who you want to be. I'm not sure how I ended up here.

To top off an all around shitty week, on Tuesday night some chick knocked over my motorcycle in my parking garage. I came out after work and the bike was kind of jacked up. The headlight, blinkers, and pegs were moved and scratched, but luckily there wasn't any major damage.

When I asked the garage manager what had happened he said he walked by at lunch and it was on its side, so he and another attendant picked it up, but he wasn't sure what had happened. We looked at the tape from the cameras and we saw this dumb-ass chick try to move my bike, for God only knows what reason. Naturally, she had no idea what she was doing and the bike, all 700 pounds of it, toppled over. She's lucky it didn't land on her and break her legs. Anyway, after the bike fell she nervously locked up her bicycle and power-walked out of the garage.

You can clearly see her face, and the type of bike she has on the film, so last night put a note on her bike asking her to call me about the motorcycle damage, but she hasn't called yet. She's caught red handed, and she knows it now, so I'm not sure why she hasn't called yet. If she doesn't call by Monday I'm going to lock her bike to the rack with a giant motorcycle lock that can't be cut. Pretty sure she'll call after that, but even if she doesn't the fact that she'd be stranded downtown with her bike permanently locked to a rack more than covers the $600 damage she did.