Thursday, July 21, 2011
Heat Index
People who use the term "heat index" should shampoo my scrotum. I'm so sick of hearing "Oh, it's 112 degrees today!". No it's not, it's 98. "Well, with the heat index it's 112". Bullshit, it's 98, and humid, just like it should be. It's the middle of July in DC, that's what the weather is like this time of year, it's called summer. It happens every year. Why are you talking to me about this? Shut the fuck up and give me my coffee. If it was snowing out today that would be something to talk about, a reason to keep my waiting for my morning caffeine. The people who talk about the heat in July are the same mental midgets that will be saying "With the wind today it feels like -10 degrees" in January. Do these morons have so little in their heads that the only thing they can bring up is the weather? Get the fuck out of my way.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
ME's Out
Last night I had the strangest break-up conversation. I tried to be civil about the situation but ME wanted to scream and name-call, which I didn't see as constructive. She really let me have it, gave me both guns.
Here's the background. At a very high level, ME is pissed at me because a) I don't pay enough attention to her b) We don't travel enough together and c) I went riding with my buddies this weekend. I supposed you could say that all three are tied together, but C coming on the heels of B in light of A certainly didn't help my cause.
ME and I had an argument about my trip last week. She didn't specifically give me an ultimatum, but I suppose it was implied that if I went on the bike trip she wasn't going to be happy with me. Obviously, I went on the bike trip (more about that later).
Let me back track a and give some insight into where are relationship stood. Two weeks ago, during Fight-I me said the following to me:
"But baby, I'm very educated. I read the Economist and watch MSNBC. I follow current events. I'm international. I like to travel and never sit still. You don't like to travel, you like staying home...."
What I translated this as is 'I'm so smart and you're so simple. I know what's going on in the world and you live in a bubble. I'm so well traveled and you don't leave town...' I've never heard such lunacy. I was so taken aback that the only response I could muster was "Well, OK, I guess I'll talk to you later".
We made up but only on the most superficial level. Once ME said those things, which basically say "I don't respect you at all" it's hard to reconcile, so I decided then to break it off with her.
Fast forward to last night. I'm back from my trip and ME calls me while I'm at work. As soon as I answer I can tell that she's expecting an apology for going on the trip, and probably for a few other things.
As I see it, though, we're just not right for each other. We acknowledge the obvious like two adults and move on or we can patch things together temporarily and limp along until the next fight, which doesn't work for me.
After a few minutes of bullshit I tell ME that I respect her, but that I don't think I am right for her. I thought it was a very nice way of putting it. It put the blame on me, or at least I thought it did.
ME then launched into a tirade, a personal assault on my character and lifestyle, which I didn't see cause for. She said "NN, you're impossible. You're incapable of being in a relationship, which I knew all along. I should have run away from you. All you need is your dog and your bike. You hang out with your friends, but they have kids, and will have grand kids. You are going to go from dog to dog and bike to bike, and die alone. You don't know how to be in a relationship, and how much hard work it takes..." She went on for several minutes, then repeated the who thing over again. She really worked herself up unto a lather. I let her talk herself out then said "Well, OK then." I thought about asking her why she thought she was such an expert on relationships, what with the ink on her divorce papers barely dry, but opted against it. While some of her points were true I just didn't see see how saying that could possibly help me get off the phone faster, or be productive in some other way.
Here's the background. At a very high level, ME is pissed at me because a) I don't pay enough attention to her b) We don't travel enough together and c) I went riding with my buddies this weekend. I supposed you could say that all three are tied together, but C coming on the heels of B in light of A certainly didn't help my cause.
ME and I had an argument about my trip last week. She didn't specifically give me an ultimatum, but I suppose it was implied that if I went on the bike trip she wasn't going to be happy with me. Obviously, I went on the bike trip (more about that later).
Let me back track a and give some insight into where are relationship stood. Two weeks ago, during Fight-I me said the following to me:
"But baby, I'm very educated. I read the Economist and watch MSNBC. I follow current events. I'm international. I like to travel and never sit still. You don't like to travel, you like staying home...."
What I translated this as is 'I'm so smart and you're so simple. I know what's going on in the world and you live in a bubble. I'm so well traveled and you don't leave town...' I've never heard such lunacy. I was so taken aback that the only response I could muster was "Well, OK, I guess I'll talk to you later".
We made up but only on the most superficial level. Once ME said those things, which basically say "I don't respect you at all" it's hard to reconcile, so I decided then to break it off with her.
Fast forward to last night. I'm back from my trip and ME calls me while I'm at work. As soon as I answer I can tell that she's expecting an apology for going on the trip, and probably for a few other things.
As I see it, though, we're just not right for each other. We acknowledge the obvious like two adults and move on or we can patch things together temporarily and limp along until the next fight, which doesn't work for me.
After a few minutes of bullshit I tell ME that I respect her, but that I don't think I am right for her. I thought it was a very nice way of putting it. It put the blame on me, or at least I thought it did.
ME then launched into a tirade, a personal assault on my character and lifestyle, which I didn't see cause for. She said "NN, you're impossible. You're incapable of being in a relationship, which I knew all along. I should have run away from you. All you need is your dog and your bike. You hang out with your friends, but they have kids, and will have grand kids. You are going to go from dog to dog and bike to bike, and die alone. You don't know how to be in a relationship, and how much hard work it takes..." She went on for several minutes, then repeated the who thing over again. She really worked herself up unto a lather. I let her talk herself out then said "Well, OK then." I thought about asking her why she thought she was such an expert on relationships, what with the ink on her divorce papers barely dry, but opted against it. While some of her points were true I just didn't see see how saying that could possibly help me get off the phone faster, or be productive in some other way.
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