Tiny invited me over for dinner last night since I'll be gone until next week. She made a very spicy Thai curry, but the sex turned out to be even spicier.
Last night was the first time I was in Tiny's place and to be blunt, the bathroom and kitchen were a little scary. I'm by no means a neat freak, but there are minimum standards of cleanliness that weren't being met in those rooms. I've seen worse, but it was just a little nasty. However, the apartment was really old, and she's moving next week, so maybe the new place won't be as bad.
I showed up at Tiny's around 8pm with some wine. She was cutting and chopping, so I pitched in and did what I could. Tiny's kitchen was proportional to her, and the two of us bumped into each other constantly. I felt like I was cooking in the kitchen of a doll house. The stove, the cutting board, the knives, the table, they were all miniature. I'm not sure how we didn't accidentally stab one another in those tight quarters.
Dinner didn't take long to cook, we made our plates and took it into the living room/bedroom to eat. I don't think Tiny cooks all that often because the ratio of the ingredients was a little off, but it was still really tasty. One ingredient that I don't think was measured properly was the hot pepper. While we were cooking I recall Tiny saying that the recipe called for on dried hot red pepper and that she substituted one fresh hot red pepper. In retrospect fresh peppers are much hotter than dried ones. I like really spicy foods, but halfway through dinner Tiny was beet red and had to pour extra yogurt on her plate to cut the heat. Even I was sweating.
When we finished dinner I was ready to go home but we ended up fooling around on the couch, and eventually moving to the bed. The clothes came off and Tiny went down on me. It felt great at first, then I noticed a slight tingling on my penis that slowly morphed into a warm sensation, and eventually a catastrophic magnesium-exposed-to-air-impossible-to-extinguish burning. My dick, literally, felt like it was dipped in gasoline and lit on fire.
The real problem is that once I felt the burning it was too late, the damage had already been done. I made Tiny stop and we carried on, but I am I sore today. You would think that I would have learned this lesson already. Apparently not, though.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tourists
This weekend I went to the Museum of American History and the National Air and Space Museum on Saturday and Sunday. My visits reinforced two earlier observations. They are that Americans are slovenly and that tourists have terrible spacial awareness.
It's pretty easy to distinguish Americans from foreigners, we're the fat ones dressed like shit. I'm all for dressing comfortably, but how do you go out to a museum at the nation's capitol in sweatpants and a sweatshirt? Am I crazy to think that sweats should only be worn at home or in the gym? This isn't so much about fashion as it is respect for your country and how we represent our nation. At least put on pants that don't require a drawstring.
Part of the problem is that some of these people are so obese that sweatpants are probably the only thing they can wedge themselves into. A quick survey of the mall and you can see where the problem stems from. You can't go twenty feet without running into a hot dog or ice cream vendor on the mall. Would it kill us to have a smoothie or fresh fruit stand out there? It has to be a statistical certainty that if you stood in front of the Air and Space museum long enough you would witness someone having a massive heart attack while they stuffed a foot long wiener in their maw.
What truly makes visiting museums on the weekends unbearable is that tourists, regardless of origin, have no spacial awareness. They stop in the most inopportune places. How can someone take one step off an escalator and think that's a good spot to stop and check a map? Hey, dickhead, there's a fucking hundred people behind you being forced up what is essentially a conveyor belt, and you're fat ass is blocking the only place they can exit. Move it! Or how about the tourist that stands in the middle of a busy hallway while his partner snaps a picture with a camera from 1983, the one with the worlds slowest flash. Everyone waits around, unsure if they should walk past or not. I saw one guy get his picture taken standing next to every plane in the Air and Space museum. What are you going to do with those pictures? I can see him back home in Uzbekistan, "This is me with an American plane I can't name. Oh, and here's me with another plane, this one is silver, but I don't know what it was used for". Jesus, put the camera down and read the plaque, you may learn something.
The worst is waiting for people to go through the metal detectors. Oh man, just shoot me. Some clown walked through and set off the buzzer three times. After each attempt he removed yet another metal object. Those guards have the patience of Job to deal with that shit. If I were a guard I would have pistol whipped that dude after his second time through. "I said take all the goddamn metal out of your pockets, you're too stupid to come in here, go get a hot dog and wait outside!" If you're too stupid to get through the metal detectors the first time should we really allow you near our national treasures? The dumb ass would probably manage to set the Star Spangled Banner on fire or smash a Stradivarius.
An unexpected surprise was how many beautiful foreign girls there were, and how approachable they were. If you think about it, it's the perfect setting to strike up a conversation. What could be easier than standing next to a priceless work of art, or piece of history, and saying "Wow, can you believe Lincoln actually wore this watch!", or whatever. You have a built-in ice breaker. Too easy, I can't wait to drag my sister there some afternoon.
Anyway. I'm heading to Colorado Wednesday for a snowboarding trip with 4 other guys. This was kind of a last minute trip. We found cheap flights, and a good deal on a house rental, so we booked it. Should be a good time. Only one other guy going is single, so I don't think we'll get into too much trouble. But you never know.
It's pretty easy to distinguish Americans from foreigners, we're the fat ones dressed like shit. I'm all for dressing comfortably, but how do you go out to a museum at the nation's capitol in sweatpants and a sweatshirt? Am I crazy to think that sweats should only be worn at home or in the gym? This isn't so much about fashion as it is respect for your country and how we represent our nation. At least put on pants that don't require a drawstring.
Part of the problem is that some of these people are so obese that sweatpants are probably the only thing they can wedge themselves into. A quick survey of the mall and you can see where the problem stems from. You can't go twenty feet without running into a hot dog or ice cream vendor on the mall. Would it kill us to have a smoothie or fresh fruit stand out there? It has to be a statistical certainty that if you stood in front of the Air and Space museum long enough you would witness someone having a massive heart attack while they stuffed a foot long wiener in their maw.
What truly makes visiting museums on the weekends unbearable is that tourists, regardless of origin, have no spacial awareness. They stop in the most inopportune places. How can someone take one step off an escalator and think that's a good spot to stop and check a map? Hey, dickhead, there's a fucking hundred people behind you being forced up what is essentially a conveyor belt, and you're fat ass is blocking the only place they can exit. Move it! Or how about the tourist that stands in the middle of a busy hallway while his partner snaps a picture with a camera from 1983, the one with the worlds slowest flash. Everyone waits around, unsure if they should walk past or not. I saw one guy get his picture taken standing next to every plane in the Air and Space museum. What are you going to do with those pictures? I can see him back home in Uzbekistan, "This is me with an American plane I can't name. Oh, and here's me with another plane, this one is silver, but I don't know what it was used for". Jesus, put the camera down and read the plaque, you may learn something.
The worst is waiting for people to go through the metal detectors. Oh man, just shoot me. Some clown walked through and set off the buzzer three times. After each attempt he removed yet another metal object. Those guards have the patience of Job to deal with that shit. If I were a guard I would have pistol whipped that dude after his second time through. "I said take all the goddamn metal out of your pockets, you're too stupid to come in here, go get a hot dog and wait outside!" If you're too stupid to get through the metal detectors the first time should we really allow you near our national treasures? The dumb ass would probably manage to set the Star Spangled Banner on fire or smash a Stradivarius.
An unexpected surprise was how many beautiful foreign girls there were, and how approachable they were. If you think about it, it's the perfect setting to strike up a conversation. What could be easier than standing next to a priceless work of art, or piece of history, and saying "Wow, can you believe Lincoln actually wore this watch!", or whatever. You have a built-in ice breaker. Too easy, I can't wait to drag my sister there some afternoon.
Anyway. I'm heading to Colorado Wednesday for a snowboarding trip with 4 other guys. This was kind of a last minute trip. We found cheap flights, and a good deal on a house rental, so we booked it. Should be a good time. Only one other guy going is single, so I don't think we'll get into too much trouble. But you never know.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Bear's Ultimatum
Last night Bear called me and gave me the ultimatum: I had to either start calling her my girlfriend and introduce her to my mother or we had to just be friends. Actually, it was a three-part decision. She also gave me the option of just being friends-with-benefits. She said that she "didn't want to play house anymore".
Of course the whole part about meeting my mother was her dry sarcasm coming through, but I got the point. I had a feeling this was coming after my VDay disaster and said that I thought it would be best if we were simply friends. A full minute of silence passed before I heard a faint sob that morphed into full-on crying. It passed quickly though, and after she composed herself Bear began attacking my character. Again, in her quirky way that doesn't really come across as mean spirited Bear said that I would die alone as an old man.
I may die alone, but there's no way I live to be an "old man", surely my lifestyle will catch up with me before then.
I felt badly that Bear was upset. I always hate that about breakups, and after everything I went through in the fall with Kay it actually hit home more than usual how much that can sting.
I don't want the FWB situation because it's a step backwards, not even lateral, which is an impossibility in the land of relationships and would only be prolonging the inevitable split.
I do like Bear and want to be her friend.
Of course the whole part about meeting my mother was her dry sarcasm coming through, but I got the point. I had a feeling this was coming after my VDay disaster and said that I thought it would be best if we were simply friends. A full minute of silence passed before I heard a faint sob that morphed into full-on crying. It passed quickly though, and after she composed herself Bear began attacking my character. Again, in her quirky way that doesn't really come across as mean spirited Bear said that I would die alone as an old man.
I may die alone, but there's no way I live to be an "old man", surely my lifestyle will catch up with me before then.
I felt badly that Bear was upset. I always hate that about breakups, and after everything I went through in the fall with Kay it actually hit home more than usual how much that can sting.
I don't want the FWB situation because it's a step backwards, not even lateral, which is an impossibility in the land of relationships and would only be prolonging the inevitable split.
I do like Bear and want to be her friend.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
VDayPart III - Tiny
The final twist in my day of deception was a "non traditional" date with Tiny.
On Friday I asked Tiny if she was free on Sunday and interested in a "non traditional" date. She said she was free and that she was intrigued. I told her to dress casually and warm, and that if she wore glasses to bring them along.
Side Note: All my plans this weekend were made via text message. Between email, text messages, and Facebook postings I've almost completed phasing out my vocal cords.
I showed up at Tiny's apartment building at the appointed hour and we drove out to ghetto-fab Maryland where I had arranged for us to go shooting for the afternoon. This was essentially a modified version of my go-to date of bike ride and dinner at my house. Only here I swapped out the bike with shooting.
Tiny had no idea what we were doing until we pulled into the lot. Initially I was nervous that she wouldn't be into guns. Turns out her only fear was that I was an avid hunter, which I am not.
Inside I gave Tiny a quick lesson on aiming and gun safety then loaded up the guns and set her loose on the targets. She was a pretty good shot, and had nice groupings right in the center of the targets. In short, she was deadly.
After the range we went back to my house for a drink and to drop off the guns. I said we could go out to dinner but that it might be difficult to get a table because it was VDay, and that it might be better to just cook dinner at home. Tiny agreed and I put her to work peeling and cutting veggies.
After dinner we cleared the table, cleaned up a bit, then I suggested we take a dip in the hot tub. Basically, from here on out the evening was exactly the same as the last eight girls I brought home to go in the tub. We changed, soaked in the water for a bit, we made out, the clothes came off, then we moved to the shower, and eventually to my bedroom.
So here's the deal with Tiny. Her body is pretty great. She has this little waist that I can almost wrap my two hands around and touch my fingers together. She's a triathlete, so she's hard as a rock while still being feminine. And yes, I've confirmed that she does in fact have a huge chest. It's almost too big for her frame, but I'm not complaining, she looks great naked. EXCEPT, she has a huge fucking bush, and yes, I'm complaining about that. I will give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume that she didn't intend for me to see it and is just a few days away from getting a Brazilian. If it's not shaven in a few days I'll come back to the topic. I'll drop it for now.
When we got out of the shower and into bed we started fooling around, and I went down on Tiny, but she was quiet as a church mouse. She didn't make a sound, and that's kind of a turn off for me. I like feedback, damn it. After ten or twelve minutes Tiny pulled me up and started going down on me, but that was a little lame too. She lacked enthusiasm. She just kind of put it in her mouth and didn't do a whole hell of a lot more. I decided to try something else and spun her around so we were in a 69, and Tiny got a little more into it. I should mention that in this position Tiny was on top of me facing towards the foot of the bed while my head was on the pillows. As she got worked up she braced off the mattress with her hands, and put her feet on my wall and pushed off. It was king of cool, almost like she was suspended over me. That's a new one for me. Anyway, when I came Tiny swallowed, which completely surprised me since the hookup had been lack luster up until then.
I got the feeling that Tiny was either reserved or only semi-into what was going on, so I was content to spoon and go to sleep, despite generally not being into much touching while I sleep. I invited Tiny to spend the night and she did. In the morning we both woke up around the same time and started kissing. One thing led to another and I went down on her for a while with similar results as the night before: lots of work on my part, and minimal feeback on hers. However, just as I was getting tired Tiny let out a little squeak and then said "Oh" and breathed a little heavy for a second. I didn't know if she had an orgasm or just solved a sudoku puzzle up there, but I took it as my clue to come up for some air. I scooted back up towards the pillows and said "Should I get a condom?". Tiny nodded and I put one on.
I expected Tiny to be tight because she was so small, but I under estimated just how tight she would be. I slid about 3/4 of the way into her then she squeezed my shoulders with both hands and told me to go slow. No problem. She felt fantastic, but again, there was just no effort on her part. Maybe I've just become used to the filthy antics of Bear, or the multi-orgasmic firework displays of Beads. But Tiny was kind of like a really hot girl in bed and just laid there.
I was on top for a while, then roller her over and on top of me. From top Tiny burried her face in my chest and made almost no movement, but was breathing hard, so I asked her if this was OK. She said she prefered me on top so I stood up with her on me, turned around and laid her back on the bed on her back. Tiny pulled her knees up towards her shoulders and started grinding her hips a bit, which was like a one thousand percent increase in effort on her part. I told her I was getting close and just as I came she again let out a little squeek and said "I just came". In truth, I didn't believe her.
I'm not sure what to make of this.
On Friday I asked Tiny if she was free on Sunday and interested in a "non traditional" date. She said she was free and that she was intrigued. I told her to dress casually and warm, and that if she wore glasses to bring them along.
Side Note: All my plans this weekend were made via text message. Between email, text messages, and Facebook postings I've almost completed phasing out my vocal cords.
I showed up at Tiny's apartment building at the appointed hour and we drove out to ghetto-fab Maryland where I had arranged for us to go shooting for the afternoon. This was essentially a modified version of my go-to date of bike ride and dinner at my house. Only here I swapped out the bike with shooting.
Tiny had no idea what we were doing until we pulled into the lot. Initially I was nervous that she wouldn't be into guns. Turns out her only fear was that I was an avid hunter, which I am not.
Inside I gave Tiny a quick lesson on aiming and gun safety then loaded up the guns and set her loose on the targets. She was a pretty good shot, and had nice groupings right in the center of the targets. In short, she was deadly.
After the range we went back to my house for a drink and to drop off the guns. I said we could go out to dinner but that it might be difficult to get a table because it was VDay, and that it might be better to just cook dinner at home. Tiny agreed and I put her to work peeling and cutting veggies.
After dinner we cleared the table, cleaned up a bit, then I suggested we take a dip in the hot tub. Basically, from here on out the evening was exactly the same as the last eight girls I brought home to go in the tub. We changed, soaked in the water for a bit, we made out, the clothes came off, then we moved to the shower, and eventually to my bedroom.
So here's the deal with Tiny. Her body is pretty great. She has this little waist that I can almost wrap my two hands around and touch my fingers together. She's a triathlete, so she's hard as a rock while still being feminine. And yes, I've confirmed that she does in fact have a huge chest. It's almost too big for her frame, but I'm not complaining, she looks great naked. EXCEPT, she has a huge fucking bush, and yes, I'm complaining about that. I will give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume that she didn't intend for me to see it and is just a few days away from getting a Brazilian. If it's not shaven in a few days I'll come back to the topic. I'll drop it for now.
When we got out of the shower and into bed we started fooling around, and I went down on Tiny, but she was quiet as a church mouse. She didn't make a sound, and that's kind of a turn off for me. I like feedback, damn it. After ten or twelve minutes Tiny pulled me up and started going down on me, but that was a little lame too. She lacked enthusiasm. She just kind of put it in her mouth and didn't do a whole hell of a lot more. I decided to try something else and spun her around so we were in a 69, and Tiny got a little more into it. I should mention that in this position Tiny was on top of me facing towards the foot of the bed while my head was on the pillows. As she got worked up she braced off the mattress with her hands, and put her feet on my wall and pushed off. It was king of cool, almost like she was suspended over me. That's a new one for me. Anyway, when I came Tiny swallowed, which completely surprised me since the hookup had been lack luster up until then.
I got the feeling that Tiny was either reserved or only semi-into what was going on, so I was content to spoon and go to sleep, despite generally not being into much touching while I sleep. I invited Tiny to spend the night and she did. In the morning we both woke up around the same time and started kissing. One thing led to another and I went down on her for a while with similar results as the night before: lots of work on my part, and minimal feeback on hers. However, just as I was getting tired Tiny let out a little squeak and then said "Oh" and breathed a little heavy for a second. I didn't know if she had an orgasm or just solved a sudoku puzzle up there, but I took it as my clue to come up for some air. I scooted back up towards the pillows and said "Should I get a condom?". Tiny nodded and I put one on.
I expected Tiny to be tight because she was so small, but I under estimated just how tight she would be. I slid about 3/4 of the way into her then she squeezed my shoulders with both hands and told me to go slow. No problem. She felt fantastic, but again, there was just no effort on her part. Maybe I've just become used to the filthy antics of Bear, or the multi-orgasmic firework displays of Beads. But Tiny was kind of like a really hot girl in bed and just laid there.
I was on top for a while, then roller her over and on top of me. From top Tiny burried her face in my chest and made almost no movement, but was breathing hard, so I asked her if this was OK. She said she prefered me on top so I stood up with her on me, turned around and laid her back on the bed on her back. Tiny pulled her knees up towards her shoulders and started grinding her hips a bit, which was like a one thousand percent increase in effort on her part. I told her I was getting close and just as I came she again let out a little squeek and said "I just came". In truth, I didn't believe her.
I'm not sure what to make of this.
VDay Part II - Beads
Saturday night I took Beads out for dinner and drinks. On the surface the evening was about getting out of the house and having a good time, but the ulterior motive was to preempt any "talks" about me not taking her out on VDay.
I met Beads at her house around 8pm and we went to a restaurant near her house for a cocktail. There we ran into a few of my friends and my little sister. My sis has met Beads before, but the others had not. We had one drink then left to make our dinner reservation.
After dinner we hit up a bar for a couple of drinks, then walked back to Bead's house. We had sex twice that night and it was fantastic, as usual. I think Beads was a little tipsy because she kept saying "I want you to use my body anyway you want to give yourself pleasure". I kept thinking "isn't that what I'm doing?" I appreciate when girls say things like that, but I find it strange at the same time. I can't help but think that there is something out there that I'm missing. Should I be doing more, or is that just bedroom talk? I mean, if there's an orifice I haven't explored, by all means, let me know. But short of bringing a troupe of midgets or a rhino into the bedroom, I'm basically out of fresh material here.
Sunday morning Beads and I had another high-energy session. I had the whole night to dream up new and exciting ways to use her body to pleasure myself and didn't come up with a single thing that would count at "creative". We got pretty into it considering it was 8am, and I'm fairly certain that we woke up her roommates.
On my way home I was talking to my sister and she said that my friends gave Beads two thumbs down in both the looks and personality departments. To each his own for both, but I think it's hard to deny that Beads is good looking. At the very least you have to admit that she has a stunning body. Regardless, I do value my sister's opinion when it comes to character judgement, and overall sis thought she was a little immature, which I don't deny.
I must admit that I told a bold-face lie to Beads before I left Sunday morning. She asked what I was going to do with myself all day Sunday, and I knew the question was loaded with potential land mines. To avert disaster I made up a wildly implausible lie. It's so nuts I won't even repeat it here as it would probably trigger some sort of FBI investigation, but it was along the lines of robbing a bank. She bought it, though, and I was off the hook for the night with Beads.
Tomorrow I'll update you on my date with Tiny.
I met Beads at her house around 8pm and we went to a restaurant near her house for a cocktail. There we ran into a few of my friends and my little sister. My sis has met Beads before, but the others had not. We had one drink then left to make our dinner reservation.
After dinner we hit up a bar for a couple of drinks, then walked back to Bead's house. We had sex twice that night and it was fantastic, as usual. I think Beads was a little tipsy because she kept saying "I want you to use my body anyway you want to give yourself pleasure". I kept thinking "isn't that what I'm doing?" I appreciate when girls say things like that, but I find it strange at the same time. I can't help but think that there is something out there that I'm missing. Should I be doing more, or is that just bedroom talk? I mean, if there's an orifice I haven't explored, by all means, let me know. But short of bringing a troupe of midgets or a rhino into the bedroom, I'm basically out of fresh material here.
Sunday morning Beads and I had another high-energy session. I had the whole night to dream up new and exciting ways to use her body to pleasure myself and didn't come up with a single thing that would count at "creative". We got pretty into it considering it was 8am, and I'm fairly certain that we woke up her roommates.
On my way home I was talking to my sister and she said that my friends gave Beads two thumbs down in both the looks and personality departments. To each his own for both, but I think it's hard to deny that Beads is good looking. At the very least you have to admit that she has a stunning body. Regardless, I do value my sister's opinion when it comes to character judgement, and overall sis thought she was a little immature, which I don't deny.
I must admit that I told a bold-face lie to Beads before I left Sunday morning. She asked what I was going to do with myself all day Sunday, and I knew the question was loaded with potential land mines. To avert disaster I made up a wildly implausible lie. It's so nuts I won't even repeat it here as it would probably trigger some sort of FBI investigation, but it was along the lines of robbing a bank. She bought it, though, and I was off the hook for the night with Beads.
Tomorrow I'll update you on my date with Tiny.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
VDay Part I - Bear
I've really been struggling to write this. I couldn't get my arms around the topic and organize it into one manageable, quasi-coherent, stream of thought. I will break it down into thirds.
I used an accounting method called FIFO to determine who to write about first. FIFO stands for "First In First Out", and usually relates to raw materials in a manufacturing process. It means osmething else here.
All three posts relate to Valentine's Day, which I despise. I don't want to get into the gritty details, I just don't like following the pack and blindly buying candy and flowers because some greeting card company says I have to.
So Bear. I went out with Bear on Friday night. I was in a great mood when I picked Bear up, but her little quirks chipped away at me until I was basically growling like...well, a bear.
Bear wanted to go to some bar in the ghetto that was the hipster flavor of the month. I was OK with trying it out, but she didn't exactly know how to get there and kept telling me to turn the wrong way down one way streets. Long story short the third time she misdirected me a cop behind me flicked on his lights and announced over his loudspeaker "You can't go left here, this is a one way street! Right turn only". Bear said to me "No, I'm pretty sure you need to go left." If she was a guy I would have elbowed her in the chest. The cop didn't pull me over but I was still pretty heated. A few more wrong turns, and an icy three-block walk later we were at the bar.
We walked in Shithole Central and took a seat at a small table. Let me set the scene for you. The place was about the size of an average living room. The ceiling was collapsing, the floors were covered in grease, and there was an overwhelming aroma of overused cooking oil in the air that would later require me to de-louse everything I had to kill the odor. The lighting was old oil cans hanging from the rafters with 30watt bulbs in them. The patrons were a mix of old alcoholics, young black lesbians, and wannabe LA hipsters in Ed Hardy gear drinking beer out of mason jars. How these three groups got along I will never know.
As we walked up to the table Bear took off her coat and underneath had on a white dress that was both low cut and short, along with 4" high heels, which I hadn't noticed before. It was like the record scratched in the bar, everyone was looking at Bear and I as if to say "Who are these two fucking morons?". This is classic Bear, dressed completely inappropriately. We looked strange even amidst this cast of characters.
I ignored the outfit and asked her what she wanted to drink. She asked for a beer so I went up to the bar and flagged down the bartender, who was staring at Bear's 90% exposed breasts. I started to ask for two Yuengling's but Bear came over and interrupted me and said "Actually, I think I would like a gin and tonic. What type of gins do you have?" What? What type of gins do they have? Look the fuck around. They have rail gin, and rail gin. Does this place look like they carry Hendricks or fucking Bombay Sapphire, or their own label specially infused with local juniper berries? How can a human be so smart and so stupid simultaneously? Predictably, the bartender said "We have Gordon's and rail..." Before Bear could say anything to further embarrass me I said "Gordon's gin and a Yuengling, please."
Bear stayed over that night, we had sex once, then I rushed her out in the morning. I was still pretty annoyed about the night and just wanted to have a little alone time and run some errands. While I was at Home Depot on Saturday Bear called. I foolishly answered, and without even a greeting Bear launched into a long-winded speech about nothing in particular. I stopped her and said "Bear, I'm in Home Depot about to get run over by a forklift, what's up?". She said "I insist on taking you to brunch tomorrow." There was a long pause, then she said "I won't take no for an answer, be at my place at 11:30." then hung up. I had plans to take out Tiny at 3pm (VDay Part III), so that would work out fine.
Saturday night I went out with Beads (VDay Part II).
Sunday morning I rushed back from Georgetown, walked the dog, then drove to Bear's house. I called when I was out front (there was no where to park due to the snow) but she said we were eating in, not going out, and that I needed to park.
When I walked into Bears I was both mad and ashamed. She had cheese grits and a huge "frittata" on the stove, champagne poured, homemade raspberry-cheese muffins in a basket on the table, and fresh strawberries cut and placed in tiny bowls on the table. On my seat was a hand made valentine. I've told Bear a thousand times that I don't celebrate the holiday, but I felt like a real shit for not having even a cheesy card of some sort for her. I admit that I used poor judgement and had no manners, and would have killed a guy for treating one of my sisters that way.
Last night Bear called me and said she would prefer to either be friends, or fuck buddies, and "didn't want to play house anymore". I kind of knew that was coming. I'm leaning towards friends.
I used an accounting method called FIFO to determine who to write about first. FIFO stands for "First In First Out", and usually relates to raw materials in a manufacturing process. It means osmething else here.
All three posts relate to Valentine's Day, which I despise. I don't want to get into the gritty details, I just don't like following the pack and blindly buying candy and flowers because some greeting card company says I have to.
So Bear. I went out with Bear on Friday night. I was in a great mood when I picked Bear up, but her little quirks chipped away at me until I was basically growling like...well, a bear.
Bear wanted to go to some bar in the ghetto that was the hipster flavor of the month. I was OK with trying it out, but she didn't exactly know how to get there and kept telling me to turn the wrong way down one way streets. Long story short the third time she misdirected me a cop behind me flicked on his lights and announced over his loudspeaker "You can't go left here, this is a one way street! Right turn only". Bear said to me "No, I'm pretty sure you need to go left." If she was a guy I would have elbowed her in the chest. The cop didn't pull me over but I was still pretty heated. A few more wrong turns, and an icy three-block walk later we were at the bar.
We walked in Shithole Central and took a seat at a small table. Let me set the scene for you. The place was about the size of an average living room. The ceiling was collapsing, the floors were covered in grease, and there was an overwhelming aroma of overused cooking oil in the air that would later require me to de-louse everything I had to kill the odor. The lighting was old oil cans hanging from the rafters with 30watt bulbs in them. The patrons were a mix of old alcoholics, young black lesbians, and wannabe LA hipsters in Ed Hardy gear drinking beer out of mason jars. How these three groups got along I will never know.
As we walked up to the table Bear took off her coat and underneath had on a white dress that was both low cut and short, along with 4" high heels, which I hadn't noticed before. It was like the record scratched in the bar, everyone was looking at Bear and I as if to say "Who are these two fucking morons?". This is classic Bear, dressed completely inappropriately. We looked strange even amidst this cast of characters.
I ignored the outfit and asked her what she wanted to drink. She asked for a beer so I went up to the bar and flagged down the bartender, who was staring at Bear's 90% exposed breasts. I started to ask for two Yuengling's but Bear came over and interrupted me and said "Actually, I think I would like a gin and tonic. What type of gins do you have?" What? What type of gins do they have? Look the fuck around. They have rail gin, and rail gin. Does this place look like they carry Hendricks or fucking Bombay Sapphire, or their own label specially infused with local juniper berries? How can a human be so smart and so stupid simultaneously? Predictably, the bartender said "We have Gordon's and rail..." Before Bear could say anything to further embarrass me I said "Gordon's gin and a Yuengling, please."
Bear stayed over that night, we had sex once, then I rushed her out in the morning. I was still pretty annoyed about the night and just wanted to have a little alone time and run some errands. While I was at Home Depot on Saturday Bear called. I foolishly answered, and without even a greeting Bear launched into a long-winded speech about nothing in particular. I stopped her and said "Bear, I'm in Home Depot about to get run over by a forklift, what's up?". She said "I insist on taking you to brunch tomorrow." There was a long pause, then she said "I won't take no for an answer, be at my place at 11:30." then hung up. I had plans to take out Tiny at 3pm (VDay Part III), so that would work out fine.
Saturday night I went out with Beads (VDay Part II).
Sunday morning I rushed back from Georgetown, walked the dog, then drove to Bear's house. I called when I was out front (there was no where to park due to the snow) but she said we were eating in, not going out, and that I needed to park.
When I walked into Bears I was both mad and ashamed. She had cheese grits and a huge "frittata" on the stove, champagne poured, homemade raspberry-cheese muffins in a basket on the table, and fresh strawberries cut and placed in tiny bowls on the table. On my seat was a hand made valentine. I've told Bear a thousand times that I don't celebrate the holiday, but I felt like a real shit for not having even a cheesy card of some sort for her. I admit that I used poor judgement and had no manners, and would have killed a guy for treating one of my sisters that way.
Last night Bear called me and said she would prefer to either be friends, or fuck buddies, and "didn't want to play house anymore". I kind of knew that was coming. I'm leaning towards friends.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Snowbelt
Will the fucking snow ever stop?
My week was a cycle that went something like this: drink beer, shovel sidewalk, eat too much, have sex, repeat. Technically I should have been "snowed-in" due to the unrelenting snowfall of over 38 inches. But I've been trying to keep two relationships up and running, so I've been dashing between Georgetown and the Hill since last Friday.
Before I get into that let me say a few things about DC. I've seen both the worst and best that humanity has to offer as a result of this past week's storms. Countless times I saw strangers help push a stranded motorist out of a snowbank. I saw neighbors shoveling out each others cars. I saw people shovel elderly neighbors sidewalks, and heard of them facing impossibly long store lines to get food for people who couldn't get out. On the other side I saw two women fight over a gallon of milk at the grocery store, and two people nearly get into a fist fight over a street parking space that was cleared out. Perhaps some or all of these are the result of close-quarter city living.
Some other observations:
If you shovel out your car from a street parking space, then drive out, does it give you the right to put obstacles in that cleared out spot and reserve it for when you get back? Can you call "fives" on a public parking space? I don't think so.
I've noticed a trend that common sense declines drastically as you move from East to West across the city. For instance, many people have been walking in the streets because the sidewalks are jammed with snow. In my neighborhood people walking in the street move to the sidewalk as you drive past. In Dupont they stop and and sometimes turn sideways so you can pass. By the time you get to Georgetown they have the audacity to stand still and even shoot you dirty looks as you go by. I think they expect the cars to move to the sidewalks. Just craziness, I tell you. When people gave me dirty looks for having the nerve to drive on the street I popped my Jeep out of 4WD as I passed them, then gunned the gas as I went by, shooting snow all over them. Move yuppie idiot!
I've also noticed that the more expensive the SUV is, the worse the driver is in the snow. If you see an Escalade or Range Rover coming it's best to just pull over and let it pass. They are just an accident looking for a place to happen.
I cracked my shovel on Sunday so Monday I went to Frager's True Value hardware on Pennsylvania Ave just as a delivery truck filled with snow shovels arrived. It looked like a UN convoy unloading food in Mogadishu. People were clawing at each other to pay $25 for a shovel that would cost $4 any other time of the year (yeah capitalism).
Now on to the ladies.
I have been alternating between Beads and Bear since last Friday night. I gave up trying to change my sheets between partners because I fell behind in laundry. By Sunday I was just spritzing cologne above my bed to try and kill the odor of other girls. On Monday morning I looked with horror as Beads drank from a glass of water on my night table that Bear had brought to bed the night before, and I think Bear may have used some shampoo Beads left in my shower at some point.
Beads is turning out to be great in bed, but is showing signs that she also could be a Class-V clinger if I'm not careful.
Beads is one of the few girls I've come across in a while that has a sex drive as strong, if not stronger than mine. Take Sunday night for example. We went to bed around midnight and had sex. Fifteen minutes after we finished she starts going down on me and we fucked once more. When we finished she said "wake me up anytime tonight if you want to go again", which I didn't because I didn't think I had any bodily fluids left. At seven in the morning I woke up to a blowjob that ended in really hard fucking.
Here's another tidbit on Beads; she is multi-orgasmic every time we have sex. She averages at least three orgasms to my one, which just isn't fair. This afternoon (yes, snow-day nooner) she came four times before I came once, and it's not like I was drunk and taking forever. I think it's awesome, I feel like a rock star when we have sex even though it's her physiology and has little to do with me. The other thing is that Beads gets SO wet before and during sex. I just touch her with one finger and she's literally dripping. She doesn't leave huge pools or wet spots when she comes, and isn't a squirter. It's more a constant, steady, flow of lube. It's fantastic.
This weekend is obviously Valentine's Day, but the nice thing is that it falls on a Sunday. I'm getting drinks with Bear tomorrow and going out with Beads Saturday. I may take out Tiny on Sunday for some sort of anti-valentine's event like shooting or water polo. I don't want to give mixed signals.
My week was a cycle that went something like this: drink beer, shovel sidewalk, eat too much, have sex, repeat. Technically I should have been "snowed-in" due to the unrelenting snowfall of over 38 inches. But I've been trying to keep two relationships up and running, so I've been dashing between Georgetown and the Hill since last Friday.
Before I get into that let me say a few things about DC. I've seen both the worst and best that humanity has to offer as a result of this past week's storms. Countless times I saw strangers help push a stranded motorist out of a snowbank. I saw neighbors shoveling out each others cars. I saw people shovel elderly neighbors sidewalks, and heard of them facing impossibly long store lines to get food for people who couldn't get out. On the other side I saw two women fight over a gallon of milk at the grocery store, and two people nearly get into a fist fight over a street parking space that was cleared out. Perhaps some or all of these are the result of close-quarter city living.
Some other observations:
If you shovel out your car from a street parking space, then drive out, does it give you the right to put obstacles in that cleared out spot and reserve it for when you get back? Can you call "fives" on a public parking space? I don't think so.
I've noticed a trend that common sense declines drastically as you move from East to West across the city. For instance, many people have been walking in the streets because the sidewalks are jammed with snow. In my neighborhood people walking in the street move to the sidewalk as you drive past. In Dupont they stop and and sometimes turn sideways so you can pass. By the time you get to Georgetown they have the audacity to stand still and even shoot you dirty looks as you go by. I think they expect the cars to move to the sidewalks. Just craziness, I tell you. When people gave me dirty looks for having the nerve to drive on the street I popped my Jeep out of 4WD as I passed them, then gunned the gas as I went by, shooting snow all over them. Move yuppie idiot!
I've also noticed that the more expensive the SUV is, the worse the driver is in the snow. If you see an Escalade or Range Rover coming it's best to just pull over and let it pass. They are just an accident looking for a place to happen.
I cracked my shovel on Sunday so Monday I went to Frager's True Value hardware on Pennsylvania Ave just as a delivery truck filled with snow shovels arrived. It looked like a UN convoy unloading food in Mogadishu. People were clawing at each other to pay $25 for a shovel that would cost $4 any other time of the year (yeah capitalism).
Now on to the ladies.
I have been alternating between Beads and Bear since last Friday night. I gave up trying to change my sheets between partners because I fell behind in laundry. By Sunday I was just spritzing cologne above my bed to try and kill the odor of other girls. On Monday morning I looked with horror as Beads drank from a glass of water on my night table that Bear had brought to bed the night before, and I think Bear may have used some shampoo Beads left in my shower at some point.
Beads is turning out to be great in bed, but is showing signs that she also could be a Class-V clinger if I'm not careful.
Beads is one of the few girls I've come across in a while that has a sex drive as strong, if not stronger than mine. Take Sunday night for example. We went to bed around midnight and had sex. Fifteen minutes after we finished she starts going down on me and we fucked once more. When we finished she said "wake me up anytime tonight if you want to go again", which I didn't because I didn't think I had any bodily fluids left. At seven in the morning I woke up to a blowjob that ended in really hard fucking.
Here's another tidbit on Beads; she is multi-orgasmic every time we have sex. She averages at least three orgasms to my one, which just isn't fair. This afternoon (yes, snow-day nooner) she came four times before I came once, and it's not like I was drunk and taking forever. I think it's awesome, I feel like a rock star when we have sex even though it's her physiology and has little to do with me. The other thing is that Beads gets SO wet before and during sex. I just touch her with one finger and she's literally dripping. She doesn't leave huge pools or wet spots when she comes, and isn't a squirter. It's more a constant, steady, flow of lube. It's fantastic.
This weekend is obviously Valentine's Day, but the nice thing is that it falls on a Sunday. I'm getting drinks with Bear tomorrow and going out with Beads Saturday. I may take out Tiny on Sunday for some sort of anti-valentine's event like shooting or water polo. I don't want to give mixed signals.
Friday, February 5, 2010
TMI
I'm not sure this is appropriate to write about. It happened, and it's part of dating, so in theory it's fodder for a post. This may be TMI for some folks, though.
Last night Beads came over for dinner. We were hanging out in my kitchen drinking wine while I finished up cooking. One thing led another and before I knew it we had finished a bottle of wine before we even ate. An hour later, after dinner, we crushed our second bottle. Beads is a light weight, so she was fairly loopy at that point.
We made our way into the bedroom and were fooling around when Beads said "I have good news and bad news, which would you like to hear first." I knew where this was headed but played along "Good news". She said "I'm not pregnant!", I said "Great" and was now certain what the bad news was. I seem to remember this exact conversatio with Bear once, which is a little scary. Beads said "But we can still have fun" and proceeded to go down on me.
After more foreplay Beads said "I want to try anal". We had never done that before, but she liked it when I put a finger in her ass during sex, so I reached into my nightstand and pulled out a condom and some KY. Beads got on her hands and knees and helped with the lube, which was kind of hot. She put some on her hand and rubbed it all over my dick, then put a finger in her ass. She looked back and me and said "Just go really slow". The first few attempts to get in her were borderline comical, my dick went up, down, left right, every which way but in. She was just really tense and tight. More lube, more fingering, and more slippage. I was walking the line between gentle and actually getting in, which requires some persuasion.
Beads was trying to be encouraging. She was calling at directions like she was an air traffic controller landing a jet on an carrier. She was saying "Good, yes, no, up, UP, ok better. That's it, no, too high, too high, down, OK". I had to really concentrate to keep from laughing. If she said "Call the ball, Mav" (Top Gun reference) I would have lost it. Anyway, a little later I felt what I can only describe as a pop. I was in her for a nano second before Beads lurched forward and screamed "WE HAVE TO STOP!" then ran to the bathroom.
I don't know what took place in the bathroom and I don't want to know. She came back a couple of minutes later and informed me "We're never doing that again". I swear to God I was being as gentle as I could. I have a feeling that is how most first and last attempts at anal sex go.
Beads came back with a towel and said "Do you still want to have sex?". I have no problem having sex with a girl while she has her period, so we layed out the towel. Actually, I think it feels really good.
That's all for now.
Last night Beads came over for dinner. We were hanging out in my kitchen drinking wine while I finished up cooking. One thing led another and before I knew it we had finished a bottle of wine before we even ate. An hour later, after dinner, we crushed our second bottle. Beads is a light weight, so she was fairly loopy at that point.
We made our way into the bedroom and were fooling around when Beads said "I have good news and bad news, which would you like to hear first." I knew where this was headed but played along "Good news". She said "I'm not pregnant!", I said "Great" and was now certain what the bad news was. I seem to remember this exact conversatio with Bear once, which is a little scary. Beads said "But we can still have fun" and proceeded to go down on me.
After more foreplay Beads said "I want to try anal". We had never done that before, but she liked it when I put a finger in her ass during sex, so I reached into my nightstand and pulled out a condom and some KY. Beads got on her hands and knees and helped with the lube, which was kind of hot. She put some on her hand and rubbed it all over my dick, then put a finger in her ass. She looked back and me and said "Just go really slow". The first few attempts to get in her were borderline comical, my dick went up, down, left right, every which way but in. She was just really tense and tight. More lube, more fingering, and more slippage. I was walking the line between gentle and actually getting in, which requires some persuasion.
Beads was trying to be encouraging. She was calling at directions like she was an air traffic controller landing a jet on an carrier. She was saying "Good, yes, no, up, UP, ok better. That's it, no, too high, too high, down, OK". I had to really concentrate to keep from laughing. If she said "Call the ball, Mav" (Top Gun reference) I would have lost it. Anyway, a little later I felt what I can only describe as a pop. I was in her for a nano second before Beads lurched forward and screamed "WE HAVE TO STOP!" then ran to the bathroom.
I don't know what took place in the bathroom and I don't want to know. She came back a couple of minutes later and informed me "We're never doing that again". I swear to God I was being as gentle as I could. I have a feeling that is how most first and last attempts at anal sex go.
Beads came back with a towel and said "Do you still want to have sex?". I have no problem having sex with a girl while she has her period, so we layed out the towel. Actually, I think it feels really good.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tiny Little Girl
Last night I had drinks with this petite girl I met on Match and surprisingly had a good time. The date started and ended a little awkwardly but overall I would say it went about as well as can be expected from an Internet introduction.
We decided to meet up in Dupont because she lives in the area. I arrived early and she arrived a little late. Why are girls always late? Is it on purpose?
Initially when she walked in I was a bit disappointed. Her teeth looked a little jacked up and very dark like she was a heavy smoker. I'm not a fanatic about teeth, but they do say a lot about a person's hygiene. However, I think the lighting had a lot to do with my first impressions, and later when we moved seats I didn't notice it as much.
Tiny: I'm going to call this girl Tiny because she was like a little doll. Tiny is 33 years old, which is older than I've been dating lately. She is no more than 5 feet tall, and maybe 90-100 pounds. She had long brown hair, a moderately dark complexion (she's part Italian and part English), brown eyes, and a very pretty face. The best words to describe her are cute and sharp (she's extremely smart, great school, impressive career).
I really liked how Tiny was dressed. She had on dark jeans, tall black boots, and this crazy sweater that had lots of buttons and straps. It was puffy up top, but tight in the waist. In one of her online pictures I noticed that Tiny had a disproportionately large chest, so I think the sweater was used to camouflage them. It's a smart move for a girl to keep big boobs hidden if she's trying to get an unbiased read on a guy. I don't consider myself a boob guy, but showing off your chest on a first date can illicit "false positives" from the date. That is, he may make believe he's into you for the wrong reasons. Like I said, it doesn't make a difference to me.
It was about 8:30 at this point, and we sat at the bar and had a drink. The conversation was strained at first. This is the big problem with meeting online, you don't have any history together to fall back on during a lull in conversation. I think it's forced to say "So, I read on your profile that you enjoy snorkeling and that you have three siblings, tell me about that." I try to make no mention of how we met. I don't want to know why you're dating online, how many dates you've gone on from it, how they went. I completely ignore how we "met".
We decided to get a table. Conversation picked up after a short time and we found that we had a few things in common. I was starving so I asked if she was hungry. Tiny had already eaten, but we ordered some appetizers to share.
We ate and had another drink after dinner. We chatted and Tiny was laughing a lot, so I thought it was going fairly well. At around 11pm we finished our drinks. The waitress asked if we wanted another round and we both declined. For me, this is the most difficult part of the evening and where I get stressed. I wasn't getting the sense that Tiny necessarily wanted to leave, but there also weren't any signals that she wanted to stay. If it was the weekend and she declined another drink (we only had two) I would have thought that the evening wasn't going well. However, it was a Monday, so it was perfectly normal to decline more booze. I only saw two options. I could try to keep the conversation going and risk her thinking "Geez, this guy won't shut up. We finished our drinks, take a hint, dumb ass, I want out of here!", or I could ask for the check and she could think "OK, what's the rush? He must not be into me", which totally wasn't the case.
The waitress came by and asked if we would like dessert. Tiny said no so I asked for the check. Tiny seemed a little surprised but she didn't say anything. I cleared the tab then we went outside.
When we got to the street I asked if I could walk her home. Tiny said "Oh, it's only a couple of blocks", which I took as a no. I know some women get a little sketched out having a guy they don't know well walk them to their house or know where they live so I dropped it. I said I had a great time and that I would like to get together again if she was interested. She said yes, and I leaned in to kiss her on her cheek. This is where it got awkward again. I first thought Tiny didn't want me to kiss her, but then as I made my way for her cheek she kind of turned and kissed me on the lips. To be honest I got around six mixed signals in three-tenths of a second. I don't know if she wanted to make out or run for the hills. After the highly awkward kiss I said good night then turned and walked toward the metro.
On the escalator to the metro I regretted not pushing a little more to walk her home. I think I misread that signal. I have a feeling she wanted me to walk her to her place and was being coy by saying it was only a few blocks. I'm still not sure what was up with the kiss.
I'm going to hang back a bit with Tiny. I got so many mixed signals from her that I can't say with any certainty if she had a good time. I think it's best to relax and see what happens.
We decided to meet up in Dupont because she lives in the area. I arrived early and she arrived a little late. Why are girls always late? Is it on purpose?
Initially when she walked in I was a bit disappointed. Her teeth looked a little jacked up and very dark like she was a heavy smoker. I'm not a fanatic about teeth, but they do say a lot about a person's hygiene. However, I think the lighting had a lot to do with my first impressions, and later when we moved seats I didn't notice it as much.
Tiny: I'm going to call this girl Tiny because she was like a little doll. Tiny is 33 years old, which is older than I've been dating lately. She is no more than 5 feet tall, and maybe 90-100 pounds. She had long brown hair, a moderately dark complexion (she's part Italian and part English), brown eyes, and a very pretty face. The best words to describe her are cute and sharp (she's extremely smart, great school, impressive career).
I really liked how Tiny was dressed. She had on dark jeans, tall black boots, and this crazy sweater that had lots of buttons and straps. It was puffy up top, but tight in the waist. In one of her online pictures I noticed that Tiny had a disproportionately large chest, so I think the sweater was used to camouflage them. It's a smart move for a girl to keep big boobs hidden if she's trying to get an unbiased read on a guy. I don't consider myself a boob guy, but showing off your chest on a first date can illicit "false positives" from the date. That is, he may make believe he's into you for the wrong reasons. Like I said, it doesn't make a difference to me.
It was about 8:30 at this point, and we sat at the bar and had a drink. The conversation was strained at first. This is the big problem with meeting online, you don't have any history together to fall back on during a lull in conversation. I think it's forced to say "So, I read on your profile that you enjoy snorkeling and that you have three siblings, tell me about that." I try to make no mention of how we met. I don't want to know why you're dating online, how many dates you've gone on from it, how they went. I completely ignore how we "met".
We decided to get a table. Conversation picked up after a short time and we found that we had a few things in common. I was starving so I asked if she was hungry. Tiny had already eaten, but we ordered some appetizers to share.
We ate and had another drink after dinner. We chatted and Tiny was laughing a lot, so I thought it was going fairly well. At around 11pm we finished our drinks. The waitress asked if we wanted another round and we both declined. For me, this is the most difficult part of the evening and where I get stressed. I wasn't getting the sense that Tiny necessarily wanted to leave, but there also weren't any signals that she wanted to stay. If it was the weekend and she declined another drink (we only had two) I would have thought that the evening wasn't going well. However, it was a Monday, so it was perfectly normal to decline more booze. I only saw two options. I could try to keep the conversation going and risk her thinking "Geez, this guy won't shut up. We finished our drinks, take a hint, dumb ass, I want out of here!", or I could ask for the check and she could think "OK, what's the rush? He must not be into me", which totally wasn't the case.
The waitress came by and asked if we would like dessert. Tiny said no so I asked for the check. Tiny seemed a little surprised but she didn't say anything. I cleared the tab then we went outside.
When we got to the street I asked if I could walk her home. Tiny said "Oh, it's only a couple of blocks", which I took as a no. I know some women get a little sketched out having a guy they don't know well walk them to their house or know where they live so I dropped it. I said I had a great time and that I would like to get together again if she was interested. She said yes, and I leaned in to kiss her on her cheek. This is where it got awkward again. I first thought Tiny didn't want me to kiss her, but then as I made my way for her cheek she kind of turned and kissed me on the lips. To be honest I got around six mixed signals in three-tenths of a second. I don't know if she wanted to make out or run for the hills. After the highly awkward kiss I said good night then turned and walked toward the metro.
On the escalator to the metro I regretted not pushing a little more to walk her home. I think I misread that signal. I have a feeling she wanted me to walk her to her place and was being coy by saying it was only a few blocks. I'm still not sure what was up with the kiss.
I'm going to hang back a bit with Tiny. I got so many mixed signals from her that I can't say with any certainty if she had a good time. I think it's best to relax and see what happens.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Lamborghini in the garage.
This weekend was a total bust. I sold my Honda and the buyer paid me to deliver it to Pittsburgh, PA (by trailer), which is about 250 miles from my house. The drive itself wouldn't have been bad except that it was ten degrees and snowed incessantly all day. My plan was to make it there and back in about seven hours, but it took my about that long just one-way.
Friday night I took Beads out for dinner and had a really great time. After dinner we went back to my house and took a dip in the hot tub before going to bed. I woke up at 5am to get ready for my trip and had a lot to do before I could leave, so Beads slept in for another hour. I loaded the bike on the trailer, strapped it down, packed a bunch of food for the ride, and made sure I had the paperwork I needed. When I finally had to go I woke up Beads and said I needed to hit the road. I handed her a cup of coffee then sat on the edge of the bed to put on my boots. Beads sat up and took a sip from her cup. She was naked and half asleep, but she looked so hot. I remember thinking to myself "I can't believe this girl is in my bed naked right now, how did I pull this off?" There was just something so sexy about how she looked. I'm not saying this is a cocky way, I was more surprised at my luck than proud. It was like "Holy shit, how did she get here, and did we really have sex twice last night?" It would be similar to if you walked into your garage one morning and there was a Lamborghini there instead of your VW, and you actually got to drive it. It was a very strange feeling.
Anyway, the drive sucked. It snowed the whole time, cars were literally wrecking left and right, and I was having an extremely hard time keeping my eyes open. I stopped at a gas station and bought a few pick-me-ups. Have you ever tried those little "5-Hour Energy" bottles? Well, let me tell you, those things are like tits. One's not enough, but three are way too many. Jesus, I was shaking for 8 hours.
Sunday night I was supposed to go out with a girl from Match. Of all the girls I have emailed and talked to, this is the only girl that I found both interesting and attractive. However, I was still exhausted from my drive so I called her and asked if we could reschedule for tonight. She agreed. I suggested "drinks", and she said "perfect, how about 8pm at ...". I would like to point out that she made no mention of dinner and picked a reasonable evening hour on a school night. So far so good with this girl.
You may be wondering why I would be going out with a girl from Match if I was so giddy about seeing Beads naked in my bed? The biggest reason is that I've only known Beads for two weeks and am not convinced she's "girlfriend material". There are still some things about her I'm not sure about. Let's face it, we're still in the honeymoon phase. The second reason is that I'm not looking for anything very serious, and perhaps Beads isn't either. I see no reason why I can't play the field more.
Friday night I took Beads out for dinner and had a really great time. After dinner we went back to my house and took a dip in the hot tub before going to bed. I woke up at 5am to get ready for my trip and had a lot to do before I could leave, so Beads slept in for another hour. I loaded the bike on the trailer, strapped it down, packed a bunch of food for the ride, and made sure I had the paperwork I needed. When I finally had to go I woke up Beads and said I needed to hit the road. I handed her a cup of coffee then sat on the edge of the bed to put on my boots. Beads sat up and took a sip from her cup. She was naked and half asleep, but she looked so hot. I remember thinking to myself "I can't believe this girl is in my bed naked right now, how did I pull this off?" There was just something so sexy about how she looked. I'm not saying this is a cocky way, I was more surprised at my luck than proud. It was like "Holy shit, how did she get here, and did we really have sex twice last night?" It would be similar to if you walked into your garage one morning and there was a Lamborghini there instead of your VW, and you actually got to drive it. It was a very strange feeling.
Anyway, the drive sucked. It snowed the whole time, cars were literally wrecking left and right, and I was having an extremely hard time keeping my eyes open. I stopped at a gas station and bought a few pick-me-ups. Have you ever tried those little "5-Hour Energy" bottles? Well, let me tell you, those things are like tits. One's not enough, but three are way too many. Jesus, I was shaking for 8 hours.
Sunday night I was supposed to go out with a girl from Match. Of all the girls I have emailed and talked to, this is the only girl that I found both interesting and attractive. However, I was still exhausted from my drive so I called her and asked if we could reschedule for tonight. She agreed. I suggested "drinks", and she said "perfect, how about 8pm at ...". I would like to point out that she made no mention of dinner and picked a reasonable evening hour on a school night. So far so good with this girl.
You may be wondering why I would be going out with a girl from Match if I was so giddy about seeing Beads naked in my bed? The biggest reason is that I've only known Beads for two weeks and am not convinced she's "girlfriend material". There are still some things about her I'm not sure about. Let's face it, we're still in the honeymoon phase. The second reason is that I'm not looking for anything very serious, and perhaps Beads isn't either. I see no reason why I can't play the field more.
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