Can't judge a book by it's cover.

I am constantly amazed by women's sexual quirks. I think it's nearly impossible to look at a girl and tell what kind of shenanigans she's into in bed. They say your sexual preferences are formed early in life. I often find myself wondering during sex "What kind of childhood did this girl have that she's asking me to do this?". Below are just a few things that I have come across that have either confused me, scared me or turned me on.

I had one girl that had an anal fetish. She loved to have anal sex, but she also had an assortment of anal beads and butt plugs that she liked to have put in her ass then pulled out just as she came. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being totally bat-shit nuts, this is probably a 2. What was really crazy about this girl is that she used to like to drive to really bad or crowded areas and have sex in the car. We would park in shopping center lots, or at busy restaurants, and have sex in the back seat. Or she would take me to these abandoned warehouses in what looked like demilitarized zones (I have no idea how she even found them) and have me park in the loading docks or some other area. She would open the back door, stand and lean over the back seat and want to be nailed from behind, sometimes anally. I would be standing in the parking lot with my pants down scared shitless. Maybe that was the point, I never really got it, but I indulged her.

One girl who "cooo'd" and made baby noises during sex, it was very distracting.

I mentioned the Polish girl who the first time we had sex slapped my ass so had that I thought she dislocated my hip.

When I was 16 I dated a girl that was a year younger than me who used to like to have sex on the lawn in peoples backyards. It was her favorite. Also, one afternoon I stopped by her (parent's) house and hadn't told her I was coming by. When I walked in the house she was wearing just a little silk robe and was vacuuming the living room. She didn't hear me come in, so I snuck up behind her and took her from behind on the couch. She never turned around and never saw it was me until we had both cum. For a long time after that she would arrange similar scenarios.

My ex that I dated until I moved to DC was a dirty talker. She said the nastiest things during sex. What is ironic is that she read constantly, and had a great vocabulary, so sometimes she would say really dirty things, but there would be words in the sentence that I had never even heard before. Often I wasn't even sure they were English. I made mental notes and afterwards I would sneak into her office and look them up in the dictionary. This girl was totally fucked in the head, she liked to be mildly tortured. Candle wax and spanking were routine. Knives, handcuffs and blindfolds were scattered all over the house. One night she asked me to cum in a glass of red wine so she could drink it. How do you even dream that up? She also really enjoyed having sex is public restrooms, usually in clubs and restaurants. By far the craziest thing about this girl, and the reason I broke up with her the first time (there were three breakups) is that one day while using her computer I saw a file on her desktop with my initials. I opened the file and inside were a dozen pictures of me stark naked and asleep in her bed. A few were just close-ups of my dick.

One night I met a girl at a bar on the Jersey Shore and we had sex on the beach in front of my house. We then took a shower in the outdoor shower and she asked me to pee on her. I obliged, but I never understood that one. I think that's something you're either into or you're not. It's not the type of thing that you grow to like.

Bear has some of the more unusual sexual preferences. She was really into domination with a strong helping of pain worked into it. She always wanted to be spanked, but not play spanking. When it was over she wanted a bright red ass and to not be able to sit afterwards. She loved to have her hair pulled and her nipples to be pinched super hard. I considered using pliers once after I found that I was pinching them as hard as I could and she was asking for more. However, her favorite seemed to be being choked during sex, which I believe is called "erotic asphyxiation". This is scary because people routinely die because they take it just a bit too far. She liked anal, and maybe even preferred it to vaginal sex. Bear also had very specific requests. For instance, one night at her place she said "I want to put on a corset and a tiny skirt. I want to be on top, facing away from you, and I want you to spank my ass." Requests like these were common and I never questioned the background on them. Frankly, I was generally too afraid of what the answer might be.

I dated a girl from Texas for a short time who was very beautiful but very vain. She loved to watch herself in the mirror during sex. I think that if she could just fuck herself she would have had no need for men.

I've had many screamers, girls who would just yell their fucking heads off during sex. Sometimes it was a show, but often it's genuine. There is just so much of that I can take, though. Really, I have neighbors, I can't have them thinking that I'm killing women at my place.

In college I dated a girl for a short time who looked innocent as could be. She was a tiny little blond girl, super smart, very pretty and soft spoken. However, she was mean in bed. Her game was that she would berate you until you could just not take it anymore. You would want to punch her out (which I never did, but I think that was what she was seeking out). When I reached my breaking point I would tie her up, blindfold and gag her, then leave the room, sometimes for hours. I would throw on a pair of shorts and go downstairs and watch TV with my roommates. One night she asked me to tie her up and balance a candle on her stomach. In retrospect this was INCREDIBLY dangerous because she wanted it on her when I left the room. What if it tipped over and the sheets caught fire?! I only did that once, but when I finally came back and took it off her she begged me for sex and came harder than I ever saw her cum before.

Sometimes it's the little things. It can be that a girl is very reserved looking and want you to cum on her face or in her hair. I had a girl ask me to cum on her nipples then liked it off herself (she had big boobs).

If you really want to see the deep, dark recesses of someones mind look at their porn collection. I had a friend with benefits that used to like watching porn when we had sex. But her porn was ultra-hardcore and was mostly inter-racial (she was Indian). One girl had a lot of "rape" porn. That was scary, but I have been with a few girls who are into mock-rapes. That actually REALLY freaks me out.

One ex used to like to have sex in her parent's house during summer picnics and family parties. Her dad was crazy and could crush my nuts into a million pieces, so I was usually terrified during those sessions. Come to think of it, there are quiet a few girls who found pleasure in scaring me.

Some girls feel sexier wearing lingerie, or dressing up a little slutty during or just before sex. Actually, I think this is one of the reason it is so easy to get laid on Halloween. One afternoon I was framing a new closet in my house and my girlfriend stopped by to drop off lunch for me. She was on her way to a bridal shower and was all dressed up. She walked in the house and when she saw me in jeans, a torn shirt, and wearing my tool belt she basically just started shedding her clothes. After that I get really nervous when repairmen would have to go to her house to fix things.

There you have it, that's some of the crazier things I have come across.