Last night Bear called me and gave me the ultimatum: I had to either start calling her my girlfriend and introduce her to my mother or we had to just be friends. Actually, it was a three-part decision. She also gave me the option of just being friends-with-benefits. She said that she "didn't want to play house anymore".
Of course the whole part about meeting my mother was her dry sarcasm coming through, but I got the point. I had a feeling this was coming after my VDay disaster and said that I thought it would be best if we were simply friends. A full minute of silence passed before I heard a faint sob that morphed into full-on crying. It passed quickly though, and after she composed herself Bear began attacking my character. Again, in her quirky way that doesn't really come across as mean spirited Bear said that I would die alone as an old man.
I may die alone, but there's no way I live to be an "old man", surely my lifestyle will catch up with me before then.
I felt badly that Bear was upset. I always hate that about breakups, and after everything I went through in the fall with Kay it actually hit home more than usual how much that can sting.
I don't want the FWB situation because it's a step backwards, not even lateral, which is an impossibility in the land of relationships and would only be prolonging the inevitable split.
I do like Bear and want to be her friend.
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This conversation with Bear has been a long time in coming. It's been obvious since the beginning that she was seriously into you and looking for more than being one of the chics in your hot tub/dirty sheets rotation. I'm not saying you did anything wrong. She's a big girl and could/should have pushed the issue sooner. But, you had to know how she felt too.
ReplyDeleteshe became too emotionally attached and you did not reciprocate them. it will be better if it is called off all together, because next stop is psychoville.
ReplyDeleteI've been in Bear's shoes. The kindest thing you can do is let her go.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above post. I have been strung along by an emotionally unavailable man. He would juggle women, lie and manipulate all of us. Do her a favor, out your bad behavior and let her go.
ReplyDeletePoor girl. Please let her go completely. She will never get over you, even as friends. Trust me, been there done that.
ReplyDeleteI get the feeling she didn't expect you to give up the s3x since it sounds like it was great for you both.
ReplyDeleteDon't think she can handle being just friends if she's said she has deeper feelings for you.
I can't believe you even want to be her friend. What's the point? She sounds like a nightmare.
ReplyDeleteAnd you should take the singleman off your links. He took down his site probably because the old posts were honest and the new ones became more and more fictional. He even banned me from posting on there for repeatedly calling him full of shit.