Special Brownies

Saturday night I had plans to get dinner at Marvin and see a show at the Black Cat with ME. ME has never done any drugs, but had been wanting to try weed, so to spice things up a bit I brought along some special brownies.

Before I get to the brownies I need to talk about ME's inability to be on-time for anything. We've gone out thirty or forty times now and she's never been on time. She's always thirty minutes late so I've started just factoring that into our plans. Saturday night the show started at 9, and I figured it takes an hour to eat, so I asked her to meet me at the restaurant at 7:30.

I arrived at 7:25 and like clockwork received a text from her saying she was running a half hour late. Then, at 8 she sent me another text saying she was 20 minutes away. When she still wasn't there at 8:30 I texted her and said I was leaving when I finished my cocktail, so she had about ten minutes. ME's next text said "Wait, trust me, I'll make it up to you". I wasn't really going to leave but I was pissed. She showed up just about ten minutes later.

After I gave ME shit for a few minutes I pulled the brownies from my coat pocket and placed one on her bread plate and one on mine. She said "What's that?", and I said "It's a brownie, a special brownie". ME was confused, she picked it up, smelled it, and asked where I got it. I told her my friend made them for me for Halloween. She said "Why would you keep a brownie that long, what's so special about it?" Maybe they don't have pot brownies in the middle east. Despite her heavy accent I sometimes forget ME didn't grow up in the US and doesn't always understand my pop culture (or drug) references. In a hushed tone so the couple at the table next to us couldn't hear I said "It was frozen. It's a pot brownie. You said you wanted to try them?".

I was expecting a million questions from ME, but instead she just popped the whole thing in her mouth, chewed a couple of times, swallowed, then said "It's dry, but good". I shrugged and ate mine as well.

My sister had tried one of the brownies and said it was VERY strong, like "stuck on the couch all day" strong, so I cut one brownie in half for ME and I to share. It was her first time and didn't want her to be overwhelmed.

Within twenty minutes I started to feel the tell-tale tingling sensation of the pot kicking in. I asked ME if she felt anything and she no. A few minutes later I saw her muttering to herself so I asked her who she was talking to? ME said "I was just saying my address." I asked why and she said "Because I thought I forgot it". I leaned in and said "You're stoned, trust me".

When we got to the Black Cat we were in the full grip of the brownies. I got us drinks as the opening act took the stage. When they started to play ME said "The music, it's too much. I feel like they are playing inside me". Then the light show started and ME about lost her mind. The main act, Si Se, came on a short time later and put on a great show. However, the combination of a violin and an overzealous percussion guy proved to be too much for ME and she asked if we could go back to my house. I said sure and we cabbed back to my place.

When we got to my house we went right to the bedroom. ME had on stretch pants, a tight shirt, and this furry belt around her waist. I took off her shirt and pants, but couldn't figure out the belt, so we just left it on. ME is a handful in bed to begin with, but in her heightened state of euphoria she was almost out of control.

Fifteen minutes into round one ME was on top of me grinding away. Instead of grabbing her hips I looped my hands through the belt, gave each side a half-twist, and used it like a handle to manipulate her body. Maybe it was the drugs, but having that handle was like finding another gear, she went even crazier. The noises she made were disturbing. They were a cross between grunts and guttural groans, like GRRRRRR's and UGGGGHHHHHH's combined in short and long bursts. They were sounds I've never heard come out of a human before. I imagine it's the sound a woman would make if you stabbed her in the belly, very hard, with a large knife. I liked the groans and found that if I hit certain spots inside her the groans would get louder or softer, depending on the spot. The downside was that I was terrified my tenant was going to call the police. Being somewhat paranoid I kept one eye on my window and expected to see flashing lights at any moment.

At 3am ME woke me up and said she had to go home. I hate the fact that she can't spend the night because each trip to her house takes an hour round trip. I had sobered up but still wasn't happy about the drive. She said I could drop her off at Union Station to catch a cab, but the last time I did that she laced into me about how she almost froze to death, so that lesson was learned and I just drove her home then turned around and came right back to my place.

Changing subjects, I got a call from DGII, the chick who I left the note on her car. We have plans to get drinks this week. Apparently she didn't think the note was creepy.