She has a kid

I had a strange weekend.

I've been talking to my buddy Uncle Charlie about New Years Eve plans. Plans started with he and I going to Cartegna, Colombia for a week, but when tickets spiked from $300 to $1700, I told him I couldn't swing it. Uncle Charlie, who is a very successful hedge fund manager said "Well, I have six hours left on my plane time-share that I need to use by the end of the year, I can contribute that if it helps." Private jet, yeah, that helps. Plan B was take the plane to Vieques, Puerto Rico and my other buddy Chavez was pulled into the mix. Some sun, surfing, and drinking lots of cheap beer at beachfront dive bars was exactly what I was hoping for. Plan B then spiraled into renting a 50' sailboat and cruising the Caribbean. This is something I've always wanted to do so I was willing to spend the $5K the trip was going to cost me. But when the guys heard there was an ever-so-slight chance we could encounter pirates on the boat the trip morphed into renting a house on Saint Martin for a week at a total cost of, like, $40,000US. To say that I can't afford that is such a gross overstatement that I can't even write it without giggling. There are people in the world who can afford to do this type of thing and I am not one of them. I literally would go bankrupt. But Uncle Charlie said "just pay what you can, we got the rest". Anything I could comfortably contribute would be a rounding error, like the tax or electric bill for the rental, and I'm not OK with that. So, with tons of guilt I bailed on the trip this morning. I would love to go, but not if someone else has to pay for me.

Friday night I went out with Bartender. She got pretty hammered again. I'm not one to judge, that whole "those who live in glass houses" thing, but I think she is more than just a recreational drinker. She excused herself to go to the bathroom and I thought I saw her up at the bar doing a shot by herself. While she was gone I looked at my phone and I had text messages from Bear and Madonna wanting to meet up for late night antics. Bear I could understand, we have a history of that sort of thing. Madonna was odd, though, because I haven't spoken to her since the threw up all over my house on Halloween. I ignored both and ended up at Bartender's house.

Saturday night I went to dinner with ME in Dupont. I could probably write a few thousand words on the 25 minute conversation that took place before we even ordered dinner. ME peppered me with questions...I wouldn't say it was an interrogation, but it wasn't a conversation either, it fell somewhere in the middle. I was knocked back on my heels early on and in a desperate attempt to get the spotlight off me I made a desperate move. I knew that ME was in her late 30's and divorced. I figured she didn't have many years left to have kids, so asked her if she wanted them. I felt like it was a cheap shot, but I also felt cornered a little. Her answer "Well, I have one already". Serves me right.

I was completely lost for thirty seconds. I didn't see that coming at all. Why didn't she tell me earlier? Should she have? Why didn't I ask her? Does it matter to me? I've never had sex with a mommy before. Did the vagina feel different? I don't think so? Is that why she was "shy" and didn't let me do down on her? Was there a scar from the c-section? Did she even have a c-section? Did nursing make her nipples so long? I wonder if I look panicked right now?


It has to be hard. I am sure she doesn't want to scare guys off by telling them early on that she has a kid. Maybe she waits to see if she likes the guy then tells them. This is new ground for me. Surprisingly, I am OK with her having a kid.