Vampire Sex

Ever had sex in on a stranger's floor because your sister is at your place and the girl's mom is visiting for three months? No? Ever woken up and thought "Why does my thumb hurt so much?" then clicked on the lights and found it was three shades of purple, but you weren't concerned because perhaps your bleeding hand and shoulder were more derserving of your immediate attention? Yeah, well, morning of many firsts for me, too. I Feel like I did battle with a jungle cat.

Sunday I had plans to cook dinner at home for ME. I was at the grocery store picking up some things and really wasn't all that excited about the night. My gut told me that ME was just looking for someone to fawn over her when she had some free time and that I was basically just spinning my wheels. I contemplated cancelling but ultimately decided there was no harm in one more date.

When I got home from the store I decided to go all out and if ME was still being aloof afterwards I would cut her loose. I made clams casino for an appetizer, a big salad with homemade dressing, bought fresh bread and some goat cheese, and prepped seafood risotto for the main course. My sister had just made a bananna bread, so dessert was covered.

ME called and said she was going to see a movie with her mom then was going to take the Metro over afterwards and would get to Union Station around 7pm, and asked if I wouldn't mind picking her up there. Thirty minutes later she called and said she was running late and probably wouldn't be there until 7:30. At 7:30 she called back and said she would be there at 8pm. I told her I had given away her table and that the kitchen was closing soon, she better hurry. I poured myself a glass of wine and it occurred to me that if ME was taking the Metro over I may actually have to drive her home. She lives in Bethesda, so this wasn't an attractive end to the evening.

ME finally got to Union Station a little after 8pm and I picked her up. She looked awesome. She had on a tight shirt, a short plaid skirt and black pokohontas boots. I was glad I hadn't cancelled.

ME's penance for being late was fourty minutes of constant risotto stirring. When she would slow down, and I heard the tell tale "crackling" of the rice, a sign it was burning, I would say "If you burn it you'll have to start all over, keep stirring" the she would hunker down over the stove and get back to work. What can I say, I was amusing myself.

Dinner went well. I brought up the whole swimming thing and said I would teach her if she wanted, which she said she would like. I would say ME is cool on the surface, guarded, but she is warming up and starting to talk more as we hang out.

After dinner we were sitting on my couch talking which turned into a little making out. ME straddled me, but it was still just light fooling around, our clothes were still on when ME said "I can't do this here, your sister will hear." (my sister, who lives with me, was at home and sleeping in her room). I didn't expect things to go too much further on my couch so I said we could go to my bedroom, but ME was concerned about the noise and my sister being able to hear us. ME then suggested we go to her "friend's apartment" who was out of town. Her friend lived in her building and she would have to grab the keys from her house first. All this sounded ridiculous given that we were just kissing. I presumed things were going to go further, but it wasn't exactly a foregone conlusion. I was going to be really pissed if we went through the hassle of criminal trespassing just to kiss. This was beginning to feel like high school again, but I reluctantly agreed to go to her "friend's house". Before we left I grabbed four condoms from the dresser in my bedroom just in case.

When we pulled up in front of ME's building she said "We are going to go in that door, but when you come out, you'll come out the door on that street" and she pointed around to the left. She said "You'll go out the door, past the doorman, make a left, then a left when you get to this street which will lead you back to the car." This was starting to sound like a bank heist. ME then lead me into the building through the parking garage door. When we got to her floor she said "My mom is at home. She sleeps with ear plugs in and won't hear me come in, but wait out here. I'll get the keys to my friend's apartment that is just down the hall." I thought "How do I get myself into this shit?" I tend to think that I'm street savy, but while I was sitting on a table in front of the elevator it dawned on my that ME may still be married, and that her "mom" is really her husband asleep in the apartment, and that there was a small chance I would be chased out of the building by a very insane middle eastern man soon. Luckily this didn't happen.

ME returned a minute later with a set of keys and unlocked the door to an apartment a little ways down the hall. The place wreacked of "old person". The couches were ancient, there was an old reel to reel hi-fi system on a table, it was all very disco. I said "how old is your friend?", and ME said she was in her late 60's, and lived most of the year in Brazil. OK by me.

I sat on the couch while ME got us two glasses of water. When she got back she put the glasses on a table and straddled me again. We started kissing and she took of my shirt, then hers. With her still straddling me I stood up and carried her to the center of the room and lowered us onto the floor. I started inching down towards her waist when she stopped me and said "No, I'm shy." Then rolled me onto my side and put her hand down my jeans. Where I'm from this is known as "conflicting signals".

Fifteen seconds later we were both totally naked and ME asked "do you have protection" and I did a little mental dance of joy that I had made that trip to my bedroomm before leaving. I didn't say anything. I just felt around until I found my jeans, grabbed a condom from my back pocket, and put one on. I leaned back against a couch and ME got on top of me.

I need to point out a few things here. The first is ME's nipples, they were giant and dark. The areola were average, maybe the size of a quarter or a little smaller. I'm running low on nipple vocabulary here, so bear with me. When I say her nipples were huge, I mean the tip, they were easily the size of two or three pencil erasers. I've only seen nipples like this on Asian girls (two Japanese, one Chinese, and two Indian girls). Maybe it's an Asian trait, anyone have any info on this? The second thing I noticed is that ME had a neatly trimmed landing strip. Nicely done.

Back to the floor. ME proceeeded to ride me like a rented mule for the next thirty minutes. "Shy" was not the first adjective that comes to mind when I reflect back on those 30 minutes. She dug her nails into my back like she was intentionally trying to hurt me. She screamed so loud I was afraid the neighbors were going to call the police. When I put my left thumb into her mouth to quiet her down she clamped down on it like a pit bull. It was the last thing I intentionally put in her mouth that night. She was buck wild. The term "sexual predator" comes to mind. When I came she bit me. I thought I was supposed to bite her, but no, she bit my shoulder and drew blood. I'll say it again. She bit my fucking shoulder until it bled.

When we were finished we dozed off on the floor for a little while then decided it was best to get out of there. We got dressed, I flushed the condom down the toilet, and we searched the floor for evidence. As we were about to leave ME jumped me again and we wound up on the floor for a second time. This time ME came, hard, and very loudly, I mean top-of-her-lungs screaming. She was speaking...not English...I wish I could remember the word she was yelling, that would have been a good Google search today. Anyway, I had to cover her mouth with my hand, but she wriggled around, grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand down far enough so that she could get my right index knuckle in her mouth and bit it. She drew blood for the second time that night. One tooth punctured the skin. She was like fucking a vampire. This one really hurt and I let out a yell and put a finger on her asshole, making it very clear that if she bit me again I was going to put one or more fingers in her bad place. She may have liked that, who knows, but I was just playing the odds which are that most girls don't appreciate that particular manuever. The biting stopped.

After the second round we got our stuff together and made a second sweep of the apartment. We gathered up condom wrappers, earrings, keys, any incriminating evidence of what just took place. Again, it felt exactly like high school, only I am twice as old as I was then.

Are you really ever too old to have sex in a stranger's living room? I think not.