Pennsylvania

Three buddies and I did a 1,100 mile motorcycle ride around the perimeter of PA this weekend. The trip was a guys weekend planned for us to get in a lot of riding, and to clear our heads. Our trip was a counter-clockwise circle through PA with one night in Wellsboro, PA (population about 1,000) and the second night in State College, AKA the Happy Valley. With one DEA Agent and a DA in the group we rode with complete impunity all weekend.

Let me set the scene for you. We were riding three Harleys and a Ducati, all very filthy from driving on gravel and dirt. The bikes had packs hanging off all sides covered in black garbage bags to protect them from the rain. We were all unshaven and wore the same clothes every day. The DEA agent had not shaved or cut his hair since December in an attempt to "fit in" with his clientele. In short, we were a rolling pig-pen.

Our route was all backroads once we were out of Philly. The roads were generally two lanes of winding pavement or gravel that led us through some tiny burgs, most just a stop light and a Dollar General store. The big towns would have a gas station, a real treat for us since we were usually rolling around on fumes.

A long weekend in rural Pennsylvania put the DC dating scene into perspective. We have things pretty good here.

The biggest trend we noticed in these areas was an apparent teen pregnancy epidemic. Young girls were pregnant, pushing a stroller with a kid, or both. We discussed this at great length and determined that there wasn't anything to do in these towns except fuck, which I can understand. What I don't understand is why they would choose to have a kid? With so much pregnancy all I can think is that they are either trying to get pregnant or have no idea how babies are made. Quite depressing, really.

The night in Wellsboro was fairly quiet. After 12 hours on the road, two of which were spent riding in a downpour and soaking wet, we were fairly tired and just wanted a beer and a steak. We found a hole-in-the-wall steak house and were just able to get a table before the kitchen closed at 9pm. Yes, the kitchen closed at 9 on a Friday. The good news is that the bars stayed open until 2am. We downed some steaks and whiskey, had a couple of beers at the (only) bar, and called it a night. Our neighbors in the hotel were up until 3am "hootin' and hollerin'", so we woke at 8am, backed our bikes up to their motel door and fired up the engines. We let them idle for 30 minutes while we packed. Between our shaggy looks and guns clipped to our belts they didn't say a word when they came out in their underwear to see what was going on.

We cut our ride short on Saturday so that we could spend the night in State College, PA, home of Penn State. We rolled into town around 9pm and were able to get the last two rooms available anywhere in the city. The hotel was really nice, and there was a wedding going on in the lobby. The bride probably lost her shit when she saw us get off the elevator. We dumped our bags and found a restaurant to have a steak. After dinner we went to some dive bar and sat at a booth to drink a few beers.

While we were drinking a groups of middle-aged women walked over to our table and said "scoot in", and sat with us. We all introduced ourselves and ordered another round. The girls were "in town" for one girl's birthday. They all lived 60 miles outside of State College. To put this into perspective, State College is tiny, and VERY rural, so 60 miles outside of SC is truly east-bumblefuck.

The women were all 39 and moms of multiple children. Actually, one woman's 19 year old daughter was babysitting another woman's 6, 9 and 13 year old kids. They were all attractive, but in a normal setting you would never go out of your way to chat any of them up. Also, they were all divorced or separated. Given the circumstances, though, we were content to have a good time with them.

Only this guy Chris and I were single, the other two dudes in our group were married with children. At 2am we all left the bar. I walked back to the hotel with two girls, and Chris left with two others to get a slice of pizza. The other two dudes in the group went directly back to the hotel.

I will make a very long story short. Chris ended up getting head from one chick in the pizza parlor parking lot. I ended up in the hotel room with one chick who gave me a bad hand job and even worse head. Afterwards we were all in the rooms making a lot of noise and the manager eventually came up and said if we didn't settle down we would be kicked out or arrested. The 19 daughter of one chick eventually came and picked up her mom and her friend's, which was obviously a really strange scene.

I got back into town Monday afternoon. I had an Internet date planned from the week before, which I really wanted to bail on, but I felt bad and kept the date. I showed up late, sunburned, and very tired, I really didn't want to be there at all. The girl turned out to be pretty cool, but I wasn't attracted to her. The only thing I liked was that she was very forward, and had a somewhat dirty mouth. Dirty mouth equals dirty mind, which is a turn on, but I really wasn't that into it. We had three drinks then left the bar.

This weekend I am heading to Dewey Beach with a big group of friends, including Kay, the girl I invited to a baseball game but ended up babbling incoherently at.

One final note. I just took the elevator downstairs to get lunch and ran into GG. I got a big hello from her, which I didn't expect. My coworkers know the whole story with her and said her greeting seemed promising. Maybe I'll see her at the gym tonight.