Inauguration Ball

I received a few last minute tickets to an Inauguration Ball on Tuesday night. I was at my office, so I hastily put together an outfit at Banana Republic, since I didn't have time to go home and put on a tux.

I was basically running on fumes that night. I had gone to bed at 2am the night before, and woke up at 5am on Tuesday. By the time the cocktail hour started all I really wanted to do was go to bed. However, my buddy, his wife and I all went to the ball. This is not an excuse for the behavior I am about to describe, but they are some factors to consider.

When I went to will-call to pick up the tickets there was a cute girl walking in at the same time. We didn't talk, but she caught me sneaking a few peaks at her, and vice versa. We also exchanged glances a few times during the cocktail hour. She was really sexy, tall, thin, great legs.

Fast forward about 4 hours and 4 vodka drinks. During a lull in the action of the "show" (I won't elaborate) I spotted my little friend and went and sat with her and introduced myself. I was far too drunk to remember her name. As a matter of fact I was far too drunk to remember my name, I clearly was overserved. I remember most of the conversation, and will not detail it here for the sake of keeping what little pride I have left. What I will say is that it did not go well. Since I didn't have a phone on me to take her number, I made her take my number and put in her phone. I know, nice move. After I gave her my number I left and went back to sit with my friends, who were in hysterics, having witnessed the whole thing.

My buddy, Chuck, knowing that he now had a puppet to play with lured me to the bar where he had spotted a cougar drinking by herself. Chuck pointed me in her general direction and gave me a little push. I walked over to her and struck up a conversation. She was not bad looking. Older, but she had a decent body that she showed off with a low-cut dress. I think she had a boob job, though. To fuel the fire Chuck ordered me an ill-needed vodka on the rocks and had the bartender bring it over to me. With the stage set Chuck then went up to the balcony overlooking the bar and called my cell phone, which was in my office. He left a 15 minute message on my phone with a play-by-play of the scene. When I heard the message the next morning I almost pissed my pants, it was classic. It is safe to say that is wasn't my finest performance. Nothing happened with the women, who eventually walked away from me when I stopped talking at her. At that point Chuck said "Uh oh, wait, yep, yeah, there she goes, she's walking away. See ya. You're still talking, now you see she's gone. Now you're giving me the finger."

I would like to move on and make believe the night never happened, I hate when I get hammered like that.

I am going to call a girl tonight that I met at Front Page on Saturday. I will feel it out, but if she's cool I will try to set up drinks with her sometime this weekend.

One crucial thing just occurred to me. The hardest part of dating is getting phone numbers. Once you get a number there is a 90% chance of some sort of date, and probably a 75% chance of having sex with the girl. For me, and I will venture to say for most guys, it is basically a quest to have sex, even if you aren't terribly interested in her. The problem is that you have now invested time in this girl, and soon you will have money invested too, and we are all looking for ROI.

I realize this sounds pretty shitty, but it's the truth, and I'm not alone. I will go into more detail on this after the date, maybe it will provide a good example.