Summer Girlfriend Application

I developed the following test that I feel is the dating version of the Myers-Briggs. The questions may seem innocuous and the answers obvious, but each one is designed to flush out a specific desired and undesired trait. I tried to post this on craigslist but they wouldn't let me, which is a bummer because I wanted to compile the answers and share them. Feel free to pull this out and run it past some random chicks at your favorite watering hole.

Directions: Answer each question in order.



1) I am between the ages of

a. sixteen will get you twenty-five
b. 18-22
c. 23-27
d. 28-33
e. 34+

2) I would describe my body as

a. slim/slender (thin, firm)
b. athletic/toned (thin but muscular)
c. average (trim but workout very little)
d. curvy (never workout, you think you can lose a few pounds)
e. fat as fuck (as in fat as fuck)

3) I would describe myself as

a. An extrovert
b. Talkative
c. Shy
d. Deaf/Mute

4) When drinking I would most likely end the night

a. Passed out in a booth at the bar
b. Stripping on the bar
c. Vomiting under the bar
d. Fucking a random in a parking lot behind the bar

5) My best feature

a. are my teeth
b. are my breasts
c. are my legs
d. is my personality

6) My highest level of education is

a. High School
b. College graduate
c. Graduate Degree
d. Doctorate
e. None of the above. Explain ___________________________

7) Please pick which statement below does not have a spelling/grammatical error

a. I like to ski alot.
b. I will be hear all night.
c. Their going to the game tonight.
d. This candy bar costs fifty-four cents.
e. All of the above have spelling/grammatical errors

8) The dirtiest thing I've ever done is:

Please describe in 150 words or less:




9) I can recite at least one line from (circle as many as are appropriate):

a. Spies Like Us
b. Jaws
c. Old School
d. Caddy Shack
e. Star Trek
f. Wedding Crashers
g. At least one Simpson's episode
h. None of the above

10) Please rank the following activities in order of decreasing
preference. 1-4, "1" being the most preferred

a. ____ Backpack through Southeast Asia for one week
b. ____ One week stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Bahamas
c. ____ Spend a long weekend at the W Hotel in NYC
d. ____ Sail the Caribbean for a week

11) If going to the beach in the summer I would most likely wear

a. A string bikini
b. A one-piece
c. Just a bottom, no top
d. None of the above. Explain: __________________________

12) When I give head I swallow

a. TRUE
b. FALSE

13) I spend _____ per month on getting my hair cut

a. ~$140
b. <$135
c. >$145
d. ;)$150

14) The animal that I feel the strongest kinship to is

a. sugar glider
b. penguin
c. cheetah
d. spider monkey

15) I am not and never have been a man

a. TRUE
b. FALSE

16) Which of the following do you not eat (circle all that apply):

a. shellfish
b. meat
c. cheese
d. All of the above. Explain _____________________________