Movie Night With Beads

Beads texted me yesterday and asked if I wanted to come over her house to "watch a movie", which as we all know is code for "fuck like rabbits". Of course I agreed. The night was laced with oddities, though.

I showed up around 8:30 and as soon as I walked in the house I heard two doors slam shut (or at least close quickly), which I presumed were her two roommates closing their bedroom doors. I thought that was strange, don't you generally say hello? Did she tell them I had the Bubonic Plague? Maybe they were also "watching movies".

Beads and I made some small talk, she showed me around a bit, gave me a beer, and we went into the living room. The TV was on and the show The Office was paused on Tivo. Beads said "One of my roommates is watching this, let's go upstairs". I said "You mean one of the roommates that ran for their lives and locked themselves in their room when I came in?", but I don't think Beads got the joke. As we walked through the living room Beads pointed out everything in the room that was hers "These are my couches, oh, and this is my lamp that my roommate's dog broke the shade on..." She went on and on. I am not sure if the point was to let me know what nice taste she had, how much she contributed to the living situation, or to show what a poorly behaved dog her roommate had. Whichever, I didn't like that she was using the opportunity to bad mouth her roommates, who were easily within earshot.

We made our way upstairs and into the bedroom which was really nice, but why do girls always have so many pillows on their beds? They aren't even pillows you can sleep on, they are always oddly shaped with course stitching and made out of material you wouldn't want to press against your face. I never understood that. It took her five minutes to move and stack them all on a chair like a giant game of Jenga. They wouldn't last one second in my house. I would come home from the bar hammered and knock all ten velvet pillows onto the floor with one fell swoop. They don't look good anyway. Unnecessary!

We climbed into bed and she put the movie on. Her TV had a screen slightly larger than an iPhone, so I strained to watch the movie for a few minutes before I grabbed her and we started making out.

It didn't take long for us to get naked and with the lights on low it was easy to see that Beads has a cute little body. I've obviously seen her naked before, but buzzed and in the dark. She's petite, with a big chest, narrow little waist, and a heart-shaped butt. She's built like a woman should be. She's not wafer thin or super-ripped. She's curvy and soft, but not "curvy" in the online dating euphemism for fat way. Think Selma Hayak.

I made my way south and went down on her for a while, and could tell she was getting really worked up. Beads reached down and grabbed me by the ears (what's that all about) and said "I'm close to coming, come up here". I moved up and she said "I want you in me, put on a condom" I said "Sure, where are they?". Up to this point Beads was breathing hard and wiggling around, but after I asked her where the condoms were it was like I threw a bucket of ice water on her. She said "You didn't bring any?" The answer was no, and the reason is that a) it's a little presumptuous to show up at a girl's house with a pocket full of condoms, even if you are there to "watch a movie", but b) it's her house, it's 2010, she should have a couple of condoms around. It's generally my policy to have them with me at all times, but I was kind of making a statement last night, and intentionally didn't bring any.

In hindsight it was a stupid statement. I could have run to CVS, which is right around the corner, but I instead opted for lots of oral, which isn't a bad consoliation prize. We went down on each other once that night, and once again in the morning (yes, I stayed over). I would have rather had three or four condoms and had sex a bunch of times, but things don't always turn out as we would like.

Tonight I am going to a movie with Bear.

One last thing, great story. I told my sister that Beads stayed over on Monday night and she said "Were your sheets clean?", which cracked me up since I was so paranoid about it. I said no, and that I was afraid Beads would smell something, or find a hair/earring/bobby pin/fucking skin cell that wasn't hers and call me out. My sister said, "Oh yeah, how about this!". She proceeded to tell me how one night her college roommate, who had a boyfriend at the time, went home from a bar with some other dude and had ridiculously drunken sex with him. The next night her boyfriend was going down on her and said "Something feels funny", and after licking and fingering her for a little while longer, sat bolt upright and said "What the fuck is this?", and held up a condom. Turns out the fucking thing slipped off the dude the night before and was inside her the whole time. Obviously a huge fight ensued, but I don't know the other details. I'm not sure what I would do, I would like to think I wouldn't strangle her with the used rubber, but I just don't know if I could resist the urge.

For once there is a wild sex story that I am glad I was not involved in.