the girl lexy has great tits get those

Technology doesn't always work in your favor.

Case and point: On Wednesday my friend from work, Betty, wrote a catty email to another woman at work about a pair of boots another coworker was wearing. The email said something like "Did you see the boots so-and-so is wearing? Is she hooking on the side?". Then, in a moment of insanity, madness, stupidity, utter mindlessness, she accidentally sent the email to so-and-so instead of her friend, the intended recipient. To make matters worse, the chick with the boots was Betty's boss's admin. Betty ended up going over to the chick's cube and deleting the email from her in box before she saw it. Classic.

Last night I went out for drinks with my buddy Andy in Chinatown. There was a big group there and one chick, Lexy, that another girl was setting Andy up with. Lexy was pretty cute and had a fantastic body. We were all sitting around a table drinking, and I wasn't sure if Andy was into Lexy, so I sent him the following message on my Blackberry "the girl lexy has great tits get those". I was hammered, who talks like that? Certainly not me, it was a really strange comment. Ten minutes later I nudged Andy and said "Check your phone". He did, but said he didn't have anything. I sent another message, this one said "she's fun and hot, take her home". He laughed. But again, not all that funny. "Ti many martoonis"

We all wound up at Rocket Bar and had a great time. Andy went home with Lexy and said she was a lot of fun in bed. Good for him.

I had three vodkas at one bar and at least five PBR's at the Rocket Bar. I made nonsensical conversation with about fifteen Georgetown Law students about how they are better off getting a plumbing apprenticeship than a law degree, then staggered home via metro and crashed in bed with the dog. I'm almost sure I'm too old for this behavior.

Needless to say I was struggling this morning at work. I came in at 8am (late for me) disheveled, unshaven, and probably not smelling great. My admin was like "Hey, don't you look great. Did you lose your razor?" I grumbled something, grabbed the newspaper and flopped into my chair. As I scrolled through my emails I noticed one from this woman who I've been working on a deal with. I opened the email and it had only one line, which read as follows:

"NN:

See below a message I received from your email last night..."

I scrolled down in horror. There, one line below was the following:

"the girl lexy has great tits get those"

I basically had a panic attack. A million things rushed through my mind; smash the phone, call it in stolen, call HR, hang myself, delete the memory card, burn the phone...no, burn the whole office, run to Mexico.

Turns out I opened an email from this women instead of a text in my phone from Andy. Her email was just below his text message, and in my drunken state didn't notice what I had done. That's why Andy never got my message.

I drafted a hasty email to the woman that said I lost my phone for a few hours last night at a restaurant, and how some dishwasher called Brazil and sent crazy emails to his friends on on it before disposing of it in a storage closet (sorry Brazil, not sure why I threw you under the bus). What what what? It made no sense, but she bought it.

How fucking stupid am I?

No more personal call or texts on my business line.