I received the following from Poonani last night:
"I had no idea that you were such a sore loser and that you wouldn't call me since I beat you at darts!! I would've thrown the game if I'd known you'd take it so hard;)
But seriously, I never intended for us to start dating. I was happy being just friends.. of course we had that drunken kiss... which made me re-think things... but I'd rather be friends with you and be able to hang out than feel like you're blowing me off.
So sadly you'll have to refrain from feeling up my ass, paying for everything and I'll have to refrain from trying to kiss you. Hopefully with all that aside you still want to hang out with me or at least chat. Maybe I'm reading all signals wrong, but they are pretty mixed. I just want things clear, honest and out in the open. Can you help me by sharing a little, please? "
I admit Poonani isn't all that crazy, I've always said she had her shit together. I feel badly that I didn't have the "friends" talk with her, but the timing never seemed right. I'll try to get together with her this week and clear things up.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Wait, I totally know this one! Now mind you, my chick-to-English translator is not totally perfect, but it's pretty good and messages like these are my specialty.
ReplyDeleteHere goes:
"Dear Notnuts,
I'm still totally into you, but I can't officially let you know that, so here's my weak attempt at a humorous opener to give me an attempt at regaining the upper hand (which I'm sure I never had since I'm an average looking Indian chick and most white guys wouldn't even take a second glance at me but since you're such a slave to your animalistic urges I'm gonna go ahead and play the cards I've been dealt).
I'll go ahead now and pretend I just want to be friends so when pressed about it by my girlfriends later, I can safely pronouce it was my idea not to pursue a relationship with you and save what little pride and ego I have left.
Besides, I know once you have a few drinks in you, we're totally gonna hook up, and then once you finally sleep with me, I'm gonna guilt you into a relationship of some sort with me because you just won't want to come off as a dick to my brother. You're a pretty stand-up guy like that. And that's what I'm banking on.
Hopefully I've at least built up enough guilt here to get you to respond. I do love you, but you seem totally indifferent which I, as a woman, cannot possibly accept, so I must hammer away at you until I can be the one to get in the last word. I get I'm no Padma Lakshmi, but the douchie little Indian boys keep lining up around the block getting their parents to arrange a date with me, but you could give a shit. Why NN, whyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????
Write me back ASAP!
Future Mrs. NN"
How'd I do? I tried to include as much incoherent rambling as I could so as to make it authentic.
HTJ
hahahahahahahahahahaha...this stuff brightens my day.
ReplyDeleteDear First Anon commenter:
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious and I agree with you.
That's hysterical.
ReplyDelete