Low Expectations

It's seldom that I disappoint myself because I keep my expectations of my own behavior very low, but this weekend was a rare exception.

Last week was horrible for me. Work was a bear, and that combined with the foul weather left me generally unmotivated to do anything. On Friday Chuck's wife asked if I wanted to grab some Thai food with them and our friend Amy from Bad Dreams of Robbers and Foxes. I agreed, though somewhat reluctantly. After dinner we went to a bar and had many vodkas. My desire to go home and crawl into bed dissipated rapidly between drinks 4 and 6, and by drink 8 I was ready to go to a birthday party with Amy in Chinatown. For the protection of those involved, even anonymously, let's just say that the birthday party was a drug-fueled rave and we took "having a good time" to an unhealthy level. My only savior is that I understand that I have an addictive personality and I usually put myself in a cab before I have too much of a good time.

Sometime after drink #6, but before the birthday party, Amy decided to give me a hard time about our one-night stand, and how she knew I started dating Kay shortly thereafter. What started as a gentle ribbing became an outright assault on my character (whether justified or not). The final straw came when she insinuated that I "pumped and dumped" Kay. Aside from being none of her business, I'm not sure where she was getting her information because it was clearly erroneous. I decided not to explain any further than saying "That's not true, she broke up with me", and let the topic fizzle away into an uncomfortable silence.

This was not the best solution because I started to get a little mean-spirited. In the end I took Amy home and hate-fucked her for several hours. I regret this immensely.

One good thing came out of Friday night, though. Chuck told me that his buddy Gazpacho was delivering a 75' sailboat for a customer from Annapolis to Tortola between December 20th and the 28th, and that he may be looking for additional people to crew it. I called Gazpacho last night and he said that he had a full crew, but that he may indeed be able to take on one more person for the voyage. I should hear back from him by the middle of the week. I'm psyched, I've always wanted to do a long distance blue water trip. This could really be a wild, though scary, ride. Once in the islands I would stay through New Years, and try to meet up with some buddies in St. Barts. It will all depend on the cost of island-hopping once I'm down there.

I didn't hear from Poonani this weekend. I suspect she was testing me, waiting to see if I would call her. After Friday night I decided I didn't need any drama and opted to stay in for the rest of the weekend.