My tenant in the unit below mine moved out today, and my new tenant is moving in tomorrow afternoon, so I had to do the final walk-through with her today.
This situation was a little unusual because this girl was subletting the apartment from her friend, who was actually my tenant and the person on the lease. She has been living here for a month and I have never met her until today. Her name is Halley, and she really wasn't anything special. I was curious because I have heard her a few times, but had never put a face to the voice.
I came home from work and did my usual spin through the apartment checking appliances and looking for damage. Halley is chatty and felt the need to talk the entire time I checked the place. Finally she said "Wow, that's a really cool motorcycle outside", I looked out the window and there was a Japanese cruiser sitting on the street in front of my place. I said "Yeah, it's nice.", which was a lie, I didn't like it at all, but I didn't want to provoke her into more senseless small talk. "How long have you had it?", she said. I was a little confused, "Actually, it's not mine". I've never seen her in my driveway or back yard, so I wasn't sure why she would think that bike was mine. As usual, my face betrayed me and clearly showed a combination of confusion and disgust. "I heard you and your girlfriend come home on a bike a couple of weeks ago, and just assumed that was it".
Ahhhh, it's all coming together now. My "girlfriend" that she's referring to is Kay, and the night in question is the lobster dinner night. At one point early in the night I thought I heard her downstairs, but this confirmed it. The sex with Kay was fairly "energetic" (though not too crazy) and she must have heard the whole event. I wonder if she heard "Wait, something's not right!" comment?
I simply nodded and then walked into the kitchen and returned to my walk-through. It was a little uncomfortable for a second.
I talked to Kay last night, she asked me if I was avoiding her. I felt a little badly, after talking to her I didn't get the impression she was anything other than really busy at work. I'm going to try to meet up with her at some point this weekend.
Lastly, Bear sent me a text last night saying she regretted not letting me take her home on my new bike the other night. I told her that was a one-time offer and that there were no rain-checks. Of course I will give her a ride next time she asks.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Clear the old mellon.
I had a long day of travel yesterday to clear my head. I went and visited a few of my buildings and was so busy that I didn't have time to think of anything but work. Once in a while this isn't a bad thing. I got home from Baltimore around 4pm and took the hound for a long walk around the Capitol, it must have been 3 miles round trip, which I considered pretty good in the heat. I ate some take-out, took a long soak in the hot tub, and then put in a big wad of chewing tobacco (we all have our vices) while I read on my deck (book was The Night of the Gun, good story, check it out). It was all very cathartic.
At some point during the night I realized that my cell phone wasn't in my pocket like I thought it was, so I looked around and found it sitting on the counter in the kitchen with several missed calls and text messages. A few people were trying to track me down, and I had a message from Kay. The message was a bit rambling, but she apologized for taking a while to call me back and explained she is getting slammed at work. She must have used the word "um" 12 times in a 30 second span. For anyone who has ever given a public speech you know that "um" is a filler word that you use when you're nervous and aren't sure what to say. I'm not sure why she was nervous. At the end of the message she asked me to call her back or said she would try me again tonight.
I didn't return the call last night, and I will wait and see if I hear from her tonight.
I rarely mention work here because it's not usually relevant, but I am in the midst of several lease negotiations and they are the most grueling I have ever been involved in. They all include huge construction jobs that I will manage, and I am rapidly losing my marbles. To compound matters, I am also trying to buy another house in the city as an investment. This too will required a gut-renovation, take the house down to the brick and studs, and start over.
The reason I bring this up is because I am stressed and not myself lately. I'm trying to keep my head clear, but as you can see from the dream I mentioned a few posts ago, I'm obviously not doing a great job.
I have one of my best friends from high school coming in tonight for the weekend. Crack-Ho, or C-Rock, as we fondly call him, is sure to lighten up the mood in the house over the next few days. C-Rock has lost a little off his fast ball since getting married and having a kid, but I still anticipate mayhem. FYI, neither nicknames refer to drug use, they are a play on the little guinea-dago-wop's last name.
At some point during the night I realized that my cell phone wasn't in my pocket like I thought it was, so I looked around and found it sitting on the counter in the kitchen with several missed calls and text messages. A few people were trying to track me down, and I had a message from Kay. The message was a bit rambling, but she apologized for taking a while to call me back and explained she is getting slammed at work. She must have used the word "um" 12 times in a 30 second span. For anyone who has ever given a public speech you know that "um" is a filler word that you use when you're nervous and aren't sure what to say. I'm not sure why she was nervous. At the end of the message she asked me to call her back or said she would try me again tonight.
I didn't return the call last night, and I will wait and see if I hear from her tonight.
I rarely mention work here because it's not usually relevant, but I am in the midst of several lease negotiations and they are the most grueling I have ever been involved in. They all include huge construction jobs that I will manage, and I am rapidly losing my marbles. To compound matters, I am also trying to buy another house in the city as an investment. This too will required a gut-renovation, take the house down to the brick and studs, and start over.
The reason I bring this up is because I am stressed and not myself lately. I'm trying to keep my head clear, but as you can see from the dream I mentioned a few posts ago, I'm obviously not doing a great job.
I have one of my best friends from high school coming in tonight for the weekend. Crack-Ho, or C-Rock, as we fondly call him, is sure to lighten up the mood in the house over the next few days. C-Rock has lost a little off his fast ball since getting married and having a kid, but I still anticipate mayhem. FYI, neither nicknames refer to drug use, they are a play on the little guinea-dago-wop's last name.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Whose calls you take.
"You can tell a person's priorities by the calls they take."
I am paraphrasing here, but I think you get the gist. I believe this is a quote from a movie, though I am not certain. Regardless of where it's from, I have always thought it was a very accurate statement. For instance, unless I am in a great mood I usually let calls from my mom go right to voicemail. My boss's calls get answered on the second ring. Hostile girlfriends, voicemail. New girls on the scene I usually answer unless I'm trying to "play it cool". I always answer my tenants' calls, but numbers I don't recognize never get answered.
Obviously the impetus behind this topic is that I am not getting the feeling I am high on Kay's priority list. I leave a message and I get a call or text back a day later. I am generally the one initiating contact, too. This is all new turf for me and is really throwing me off.
In everything I do in life I throw myself in 100%, "quitting" is not part of my lexicon. I am fiercely competitive, often to a fault. But with women I have always had the stance that I don't like to compete with other guys for a girl. This is the one area where I generally am not interested in fighting (either literally or figuratively). I feel that if you reduce yourself to really fighting for the affection of a woman there will never be equality in the relationship. She will always have, and know she has, the upper hand. I don't know if this is true, perhaps it is only my perception.
I suppose the devil's advocate would say that I am unwilling to take chances in a relationship. Perhaps it is a self-preservation mechanism. As we all know, in investing the return is proportional to the risk. Low risk, low return. High risk, high return. In that regard my risk aversion will always yield low relationship returns.
I am not sure what I am going to do. However, I am leaning towards pulling the e-brake with Kay. I'm not interested in games, despite thinking she's a great girl (high return, I suppose).
I am paraphrasing here, but I think you get the gist. I believe this is a quote from a movie, though I am not certain. Regardless of where it's from, I have always thought it was a very accurate statement. For instance, unless I am in a great mood I usually let calls from my mom go right to voicemail. My boss's calls get answered on the second ring. Hostile girlfriends, voicemail. New girls on the scene I usually answer unless I'm trying to "play it cool". I always answer my tenants' calls, but numbers I don't recognize never get answered.
Obviously the impetus behind this topic is that I am not getting the feeling I am high on Kay's priority list. I leave a message and I get a call or text back a day later. I am generally the one initiating contact, too. This is all new turf for me and is really throwing me off.
In everything I do in life I throw myself in 100%, "quitting" is not part of my lexicon. I am fiercely competitive, often to a fault. But with women I have always had the stance that I don't like to compete with other guys for a girl. This is the one area where I generally am not interested in fighting (either literally or figuratively). I feel that if you reduce yourself to really fighting for the affection of a woman there will never be equality in the relationship. She will always have, and know she has, the upper hand. I don't know if this is true, perhaps it is only my perception.
I suppose the devil's advocate would say that I am unwilling to take chances in a relationship. Perhaps it is a self-preservation mechanism. As we all know, in investing the return is proportional to the risk. Low risk, low return. High risk, high return. In that regard my risk aversion will always yield low relationship returns.
I am not sure what I am going to do. However, I am leaning towards pulling the e-brake with Kay. I'm not interested in games, despite thinking she's a great girl (high return, I suppose).
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
A shrinks best customer
Last night I was emptying the dish washer in my kitchen. The lights were off and it became unbearably hot in the room when I opened the dishwasher and the steam poured out into my face. I emptied the bottom rack then started on the top rack. I stacked a few glasses on the countertop, but when I got to one of the big wine glasses I held it to my mouth and took a huge bite out of it. I decided not to chew the glass, instead I spit it out into the sink and threw the glass in the garbage pail. I was surprised to find that my mouth didn't bleed at all. I decided to give a small water glass a taste, but found the glass was too thick and was not able to remove a satisfying chunk. The glass just cracked, shooting tiny splinters everywhere. I spit those out and threw out that glass as well. Still no blood. I was happy when I came to another wine glass and took two hearty bites from it. I chewed both bites for a long time, but in the end decided to spit them out, I didn't think shards of glass would help my growing indegestion. After I spit out the second mouthful I sensed the taste of blood, and wiped my mouth with my forearm. Of course there was a huge amount of blood on my arm, and I could feel it trickling down my chin, too. I looked in the sink and was surprised by how much blood was in there. I spit a huge wad of blood into the sink and heard something in the room. I looked to my left and a man said "What the hell did you expect?". I squinted and realized it was Bob Barker, the host of The Price Is Right.
I woke up to my cell phone beeping, telling me the battery needed to be charged. I plugged in the phone and looked at the clock, it was 4am. Fuck, I was up every two hours last night, work is stressing me out. That was the wierdest dream I can ever remember.
I laid in bed and thought about the dream, then realized what it was about.
One night at a hotel frat party this guy I know took a huge bite out of a glass and chewed away. This guy, Gary, was a great dude, though clearly nuts. Earlier in the evening he stood naked in the center of the hotel room, took a shit in his hand and smeared it all over his chest. Several people, including Gary, vomited from the smell. Despite an undisputable crazy streak, Gary was also a very successful college wrestler, and an all-around great friend. After two bites of glass he was taken to the ER for many painful stitches. Two years later, after an all-nighter at a bar, Gary lay passed out in the front seat of a Toyota pick-up truck while his good friend and wrestling teammate drove it off the road and into a tree, killing Gary instantly. The driver lived and spent three years in jail for manslaughter.
A shrink would be able to base his whole career on this material and retire a wealthy man. Wow, I'm freaked out.
I got an email from Kay a little while ago. She said that she was pretty busy this week, but may be able to get together tomorrow or this weekend. I'm not getting a great vibe from her, though I know she's really busy at work. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that situation, but it is probably not helping my REM sleep.
I woke up to my cell phone beeping, telling me the battery needed to be charged. I plugged in the phone and looked at the clock, it was 4am. Fuck, I was up every two hours last night, work is stressing me out. That was the wierdest dream I can ever remember.
I laid in bed and thought about the dream, then realized what it was about.
One night at a hotel frat party this guy I know took a huge bite out of a glass and chewed away. This guy, Gary, was a great dude, though clearly nuts. Earlier in the evening he stood naked in the center of the hotel room, took a shit in his hand and smeared it all over his chest. Several people, including Gary, vomited from the smell. Despite an undisputable crazy streak, Gary was also a very successful college wrestler, and an all-around great friend. After two bites of glass he was taken to the ER for many painful stitches. Two years later, after an all-nighter at a bar, Gary lay passed out in the front seat of a Toyota pick-up truck while his good friend and wrestling teammate drove it off the road and into a tree, killing Gary instantly. The driver lived and spent three years in jail for manslaughter.
A shrink would be able to base his whole career on this material and retire a wealthy man. Wow, I'm freaked out.
I got an email from Kay a little while ago. She said that she was pretty busy this week, but may be able to get together tomorrow or this weekend. I'm not getting a great vibe from her, though I know she's really busy at work. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that situation, but it is probably not helping my REM sleep.
Monday, July 27, 2009
To cheat or not to cheat?
It seemed like everywhere I went this weekend I was confronted by some sort of relationship deception. The timing was interesting because I thought about Kay a lot this weekend and what my intentions are.
Friday night I met my sister and her friend out for drinks in Georgetown. The friend, Briana, is young, just 21, and living in DC with her sister for the summer. Though young, Briana was very mature and a lot of fun to hang out with. We played pool at the bar and flirted and eventually decided to meet up the next afternoon for a motorcycle ride. Briana mentioned that she had a boyfriend, but that it wasn't serious. My sister would later tell me that Briana has been dating the dude for three years, which sounds semi-serious to me. I would not be happy if my girlfriend of three years went out on some random dude's bike. In the end we were both too hung over to ride Saturday, but she asked for a rain check.
Saturday night I met up with Randy, who is one of my good friends from college and was in town for the weekend with his wife. Randy is a smart, successful guy and the ladies love him, but that seems to be his downfall. If women were drugs (and let's face it, they basically are), Randy would be a full-blown addict. I've known Randy and his (doctor) wife for a very long time, but in all the years I have never known him to be faithful to her and it bothers me.
After a few drinks Saturday night Randy told me about some douche-bag in Texas he has been having a relationship with for the past year. He met this girl (let's call her DB) while traveling on business. DB is married with two kids, and as far as I'm concerned the only thing that DB has going for her are her body and her looks. She uneducated, and clearly conniving.
The situation is that DB was trying to talk Randy into leaving his wife for her. DB had separated from her husband and wanted to be with Randy, and much to my surprise, he was actually considering it. However, he came to his senses when he found out that DB was fucking some other guy at the same time. It wasn't until then that he felt the pain that he has been causing his wife this whole time (she knew about some of his affairs).
The final aspect of my weekend that rounded off the deception theme is that I met up with Bear last night. We had been emailing each other for a few days and we planned on meeting up. Bear really likes my dog, so she asked if we could take the dog for a walk last night. In typical crazy Bear fashion she showed up in a tiny little skirt (it was so short I couldn't NOT see her underwear, it was very uncomfortable) and pump heels. Not exactly dog-walking attire, but that is pretty much normal for her. I think Bear is/was dating some guy, and if she still is he probably wouldn't have been too excited about her hanging out at her ex's house in a skirt the size of a headband.
We walked the dog and had a beer back at my house. She looked really good, and of course I would have slept with her in a second, but neither of us made any moves and she left around 11pm after a hug.
So, now onto Kay. As I said, I thought about her a lot this weekend. I talked to Kay on Thursday night and she told me that despite some tough deadlines at work she was going to NYC with some girlfriends for the weekend. After I got off the phone with Kay I thought about two things: what is it about her that I like, and what is my plan.
It is necessary to note that I have not had a girl break up with me in nearly nine years, I have done all the dumping in that time. I have also been told several dozen times by many different women that they never know where they stand with me, that I am always a little distant, or aloof. They say that I am affectionate, but there is always a sense that I could leave them at any point. I would say that these things are all fairly true assessments.
As I thought about Kay it occurred to me that she acts a lot like I usually do. When we're together she's 100% there, and seems very into me. However, I don't hear much from her during the week, and I feel like I am always the one doing the chasing. I suppose this may partially be the reason I am so interested in her, we always want what we can't have.
After talking with Kay on Thursday night I decided that I wasn't going to call, email, or text her over the weekend. We left it that we would get together this week sometime, and I wanted to give her a little space. My normal dating instincts seemed to have worked well in the past, so why change the formula. However, I began to question myself. If my instinct is to send her a text message to say hello, than isn't that what I should do? Is that what I would normally do, or is that just what I want to do because I like this girl more than normal? I suppose it's like the philosophical question "If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?", you can ponder and debate this all day long, but you can never answer the question.
The question now is how long do I wait before I contact her? I am going to try and hold out today and see if she calls me.
Friday night I met my sister and her friend out for drinks in Georgetown. The friend, Briana, is young, just 21, and living in DC with her sister for the summer. Though young, Briana was very mature and a lot of fun to hang out with. We played pool at the bar and flirted and eventually decided to meet up the next afternoon for a motorcycle ride. Briana mentioned that she had a boyfriend, but that it wasn't serious. My sister would later tell me that Briana has been dating the dude for three years, which sounds semi-serious to me. I would not be happy if my girlfriend of three years went out on some random dude's bike. In the end we were both too hung over to ride Saturday, but she asked for a rain check.
Saturday night I met up with Randy, who is one of my good friends from college and was in town for the weekend with his wife. Randy is a smart, successful guy and the ladies love him, but that seems to be his downfall. If women were drugs (and let's face it, they basically are), Randy would be a full-blown addict. I've known Randy and his (doctor) wife for a very long time, but in all the years I have never known him to be faithful to her and it bothers me.
After a few drinks Saturday night Randy told me about some douche-bag in Texas he has been having a relationship with for the past year. He met this girl (let's call her DB) while traveling on business. DB is married with two kids, and as far as I'm concerned the only thing that DB has going for her are her body and her looks. She uneducated, and clearly conniving.
The situation is that DB was trying to talk Randy into leaving his wife for her. DB had separated from her husband and wanted to be with Randy, and much to my surprise, he was actually considering it. However, he came to his senses when he found out that DB was fucking some other guy at the same time. It wasn't until then that he felt the pain that he has been causing his wife this whole time (she knew about some of his affairs).
The final aspect of my weekend that rounded off the deception theme is that I met up with Bear last night. We had been emailing each other for a few days and we planned on meeting up. Bear really likes my dog, so she asked if we could take the dog for a walk last night. In typical crazy Bear fashion she showed up in a tiny little skirt (it was so short I couldn't NOT see her underwear, it was very uncomfortable) and pump heels. Not exactly dog-walking attire, but that is pretty much normal for her. I think Bear is/was dating some guy, and if she still is he probably wouldn't have been too excited about her hanging out at her ex's house in a skirt the size of a headband.
We walked the dog and had a beer back at my house. She looked really good, and of course I would have slept with her in a second, but neither of us made any moves and she left around 11pm after a hug.
So, now onto Kay. As I said, I thought about her a lot this weekend. I talked to Kay on Thursday night and she told me that despite some tough deadlines at work she was going to NYC with some girlfriends for the weekend. After I got off the phone with Kay I thought about two things: what is it about her that I like, and what is my plan.
It is necessary to note that I have not had a girl break up with me in nearly nine years, I have done all the dumping in that time. I have also been told several dozen times by many different women that they never know where they stand with me, that I am always a little distant, or aloof. They say that I am affectionate, but there is always a sense that I could leave them at any point. I would say that these things are all fairly true assessments.
As I thought about Kay it occurred to me that she acts a lot like I usually do. When we're together she's 100% there, and seems very into me. However, I don't hear much from her during the week, and I feel like I am always the one doing the chasing. I suppose this may partially be the reason I am so interested in her, we always want what we can't have.
After talking with Kay on Thursday night I decided that I wasn't going to call, email, or text her over the weekend. We left it that we would get together this week sometime, and I wanted to give her a little space. My normal dating instincts seemed to have worked well in the past, so why change the formula. However, I began to question myself. If my instinct is to send her a text message to say hello, than isn't that what I should do? Is that what I would normally do, or is that just what I want to do because I like this girl more than normal? I suppose it's like the philosophical question "If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?", you can ponder and debate this all day long, but you can never answer the question.
The question now is how long do I wait before I contact her? I am going to try and hold out today and see if she calls me.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Can't judge a book by it's cover.
I am constantly amazed by women's sexual quirks. I think it's nearly impossible to look at a girl and tell what kind of shenanigans she's into in bed. They say your sexual preferences are formed early in life. I often find myself wondering during sex "What kind of childhood did this girl have that she's asking me to do this?". Below are just a few things that I have come across that have either confused me, scared me or turned me on.
I had one girl that had an anal fetish. She loved to have anal sex, but she also had an assortment of anal beads and butt plugs that she liked to have put in her ass then pulled out just as she came. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being totally bat-shit nuts, this is probably a 2. What was really crazy about this girl is that she used to like to drive to really bad or crowded areas and have sex in the car. We would park in shopping center lots, or at busy restaurants, and have sex in the back seat. Or she would take me to these abandoned warehouses in what looked like demilitarized zones (I have no idea how she even found them) and have me park in the loading docks or some other area. She would open the back door, stand and lean over the back seat and want to be nailed from behind, sometimes anally. I would be standing in the parking lot with my pants down scared shitless. Maybe that was the point, I never really got it, but I indulged her.
One girl who "cooo'd" and made baby noises during sex, it was very distracting.
I mentioned the Polish girl who the first time we had sex slapped my ass so had that I thought she dislocated my hip.
When I was 16 I dated a girl that was a year younger than me who used to like to have sex on the lawn in peoples backyards. It was her favorite. Also, one afternoon I stopped by her (parent's) house and hadn't told her I was coming by. When I walked in the house she was wearing just a little silk robe and was vacuuming the living room. She didn't hear me come in, so I snuck up behind her and took her from behind on the couch. She never turned around and never saw it was me until we had both cum. For a long time after that she would arrange similar scenarios.
My ex that I dated until I moved to DC was a dirty talker. She said the nastiest things during sex. What is ironic is that she read constantly, and had a great vocabulary, so sometimes she would say really dirty things, but there would be words in the sentence that I had never even heard before. Often I wasn't even sure they were English. I made mental notes and afterwards I would sneak into her office and look them up in the dictionary. This girl was totally fucked in the head, she liked to be mildly tortured. Candle wax and spanking were routine. Knives, handcuffs and blindfolds were scattered all over the house. One night she asked me to cum in a glass of red wine so she could drink it. How do you even dream that up? She also really enjoyed having sex is public restrooms, usually in clubs and restaurants. By far the craziest thing about this girl, and the reason I broke up with her the first time (there were three breakups) is that one day while using her computer I saw a file on her desktop with my initials. I opened the file and inside were a dozen pictures of me stark naked and asleep in her bed. A few were just close-ups of my dick.
One night I met a girl at a bar on the Jersey Shore and we had sex on the beach in front of my house. We then took a shower in the outdoor shower and she asked me to pee on her. I obliged, but I never understood that one. I think that's something you're either into or you're not. It's not the type of thing that you grow to like.
Bear has some of the more unusual sexual preferences. She was really into domination with a strong helping of pain worked into it. She always wanted to be spanked, but not play spanking. When it was over she wanted a bright red ass and to not be able to sit afterwards. She loved to have her hair pulled and her nipples to be pinched super hard. I considered using pliers once after I found that I was pinching them as hard as I could and she was asking for more. However, her favorite seemed to be being choked during sex, which I believe is called "erotic asphyxiation". This is scary because people routinely die because they take it just a bit too far. She liked anal, and maybe even preferred it to vaginal sex. Bear also had very specific requests. For instance, one night at her place she said "I want to put on a corset and a tiny skirt. I want to be on top, facing away from you, and I want you to spank my ass." Requests like these were common and I never questioned the background on them. Frankly, I was generally too afraid of what the answer might be.
I dated a girl from Texas for a short time who was very beautiful but very vain. She loved to watch herself in the mirror during sex. I think that if she could just fuck herself she would have had no need for men.
I've had many screamers, girls who would just yell their fucking heads off during sex. Sometimes it was a show, but often it's genuine. There is just so much of that I can take, though. Really, I have neighbors, I can't have them thinking that I'm killing women at my place.
In college I dated a girl for a short time who looked innocent as could be. She was a tiny little blond girl, super smart, very pretty and soft spoken. However, she was mean in bed. Her game was that she would berate you until you could just not take it anymore. You would want to punch her out (which I never did, but I think that was what she was seeking out). When I reached my breaking point I would tie her up, blindfold and gag her, then leave the room, sometimes for hours. I would throw on a pair of shorts and go downstairs and watch TV with my roommates. One night she asked me to tie her up and balance a candle on her stomach. In retrospect this was INCREDIBLY dangerous because she wanted it on her when I left the room. What if it tipped over and the sheets caught fire?! I only did that once, but when I finally came back and took it off her she begged me for sex and came harder than I ever saw her cum before.
Sometimes it's the little things. It can be that a girl is very reserved looking and want you to cum on her face or in her hair. I had a girl ask me to cum on her nipples then liked it off herself (she had big boobs).
If you really want to see the deep, dark recesses of someones mind look at their porn collection. I had a friend with benefits that used to like watching porn when we had sex. But her porn was ultra-hardcore and was mostly inter-racial (she was Indian). One girl had a lot of "rape" porn. That was scary, but I have been with a few girls who are into mock-rapes. That actually REALLY freaks me out.
One ex used to like to have sex in her parent's house during summer picnics and family parties. Her dad was crazy and could crush my nuts into a million pieces, so I was usually terrified during those sessions. Come to think of it, there are quiet a few girls who found pleasure in scaring me.
Some girls feel sexier wearing lingerie, or dressing up a little slutty during or just before sex. Actually, I think this is one of the reason it is so easy to get laid on Halloween. One afternoon I was framing a new closet in my house and my girlfriend stopped by to drop off lunch for me. She was on her way to a bridal shower and was all dressed up. She walked in the house and when she saw me in jeans, a torn shirt, and wearing my tool belt she basically just started shedding her clothes. After that I get really nervous when repairmen would have to go to her house to fix things.
There you have it, that's some of the crazier things I have come across.
I had one girl that had an anal fetish. She loved to have anal sex, but she also had an assortment of anal beads and butt plugs that she liked to have put in her ass then pulled out just as she came. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being totally bat-shit nuts, this is probably a 2. What was really crazy about this girl is that she used to like to drive to really bad or crowded areas and have sex in the car. We would park in shopping center lots, or at busy restaurants, and have sex in the back seat. Or she would take me to these abandoned warehouses in what looked like demilitarized zones (I have no idea how she even found them) and have me park in the loading docks or some other area. She would open the back door, stand and lean over the back seat and want to be nailed from behind, sometimes anally. I would be standing in the parking lot with my pants down scared shitless. Maybe that was the point, I never really got it, but I indulged her.
One girl who "cooo'd" and made baby noises during sex, it was very distracting.
I mentioned the Polish girl who the first time we had sex slapped my ass so had that I thought she dislocated my hip.
When I was 16 I dated a girl that was a year younger than me who used to like to have sex on the lawn in peoples backyards. It was her favorite. Also, one afternoon I stopped by her (parent's) house and hadn't told her I was coming by. When I walked in the house she was wearing just a little silk robe and was vacuuming the living room. She didn't hear me come in, so I snuck up behind her and took her from behind on the couch. She never turned around and never saw it was me until we had both cum. For a long time after that she would arrange similar scenarios.
My ex that I dated until I moved to DC was a dirty talker. She said the nastiest things during sex. What is ironic is that she read constantly, and had a great vocabulary, so sometimes she would say really dirty things, but there would be words in the sentence that I had never even heard before. Often I wasn't even sure they were English. I made mental notes and afterwards I would sneak into her office and look them up in the dictionary. This girl was totally fucked in the head, she liked to be mildly tortured. Candle wax and spanking were routine. Knives, handcuffs and blindfolds were scattered all over the house. One night she asked me to cum in a glass of red wine so she could drink it. How do you even dream that up? She also really enjoyed having sex is public restrooms, usually in clubs and restaurants. By far the craziest thing about this girl, and the reason I broke up with her the first time (there were three breakups) is that one day while using her computer I saw a file on her desktop with my initials. I opened the file and inside were a dozen pictures of me stark naked and asleep in her bed. A few were just close-ups of my dick.
One night I met a girl at a bar on the Jersey Shore and we had sex on the beach in front of my house. We then took a shower in the outdoor shower and she asked me to pee on her. I obliged, but I never understood that one. I think that's something you're either into or you're not. It's not the type of thing that you grow to like.
Bear has some of the more unusual sexual preferences. She was really into domination with a strong helping of pain worked into it. She always wanted to be spanked, but not play spanking. When it was over she wanted a bright red ass and to not be able to sit afterwards. She loved to have her hair pulled and her nipples to be pinched super hard. I considered using pliers once after I found that I was pinching them as hard as I could and she was asking for more. However, her favorite seemed to be being choked during sex, which I believe is called "erotic asphyxiation". This is scary because people routinely die because they take it just a bit too far. She liked anal, and maybe even preferred it to vaginal sex. Bear also had very specific requests. For instance, one night at her place she said "I want to put on a corset and a tiny skirt. I want to be on top, facing away from you, and I want you to spank my ass." Requests like these were common and I never questioned the background on them. Frankly, I was generally too afraid of what the answer might be.
I dated a girl from Texas for a short time who was very beautiful but very vain. She loved to watch herself in the mirror during sex. I think that if she could just fuck herself she would have had no need for men.
I've had many screamers, girls who would just yell their fucking heads off during sex. Sometimes it was a show, but often it's genuine. There is just so much of that I can take, though. Really, I have neighbors, I can't have them thinking that I'm killing women at my place.
In college I dated a girl for a short time who looked innocent as could be. She was a tiny little blond girl, super smart, very pretty and soft spoken. However, she was mean in bed. Her game was that she would berate you until you could just not take it anymore. You would want to punch her out (which I never did, but I think that was what she was seeking out). When I reached my breaking point I would tie her up, blindfold and gag her, then leave the room, sometimes for hours. I would throw on a pair of shorts and go downstairs and watch TV with my roommates. One night she asked me to tie her up and balance a candle on her stomach. In retrospect this was INCREDIBLY dangerous because she wanted it on her when I left the room. What if it tipped over and the sheets caught fire?! I only did that once, but when I finally came back and took it off her she begged me for sex and came harder than I ever saw her cum before.
Sometimes it's the little things. It can be that a girl is very reserved looking and want you to cum on her face or in her hair. I had a girl ask me to cum on her nipples then liked it off herself (she had big boobs).
If you really want to see the deep, dark recesses of someones mind look at their porn collection. I had a friend with benefits that used to like watching porn when we had sex. But her porn was ultra-hardcore and was mostly inter-racial (she was Indian). One girl had a lot of "rape" porn. That was scary, but I have been with a few girls who are into mock-rapes. That actually REALLY freaks me out.
One ex used to like to have sex in her parent's house during summer picnics and family parties. Her dad was crazy and could crush my nuts into a million pieces, so I was usually terrified during those sessions. Come to think of it, there are quiet a few girls who found pleasure in scaring me.
Some girls feel sexier wearing lingerie, or dressing up a little slutty during or just before sex. Actually, I think this is one of the reason it is so easy to get laid on Halloween. One afternoon I was framing a new closet in my house and my girlfriend stopped by to drop off lunch for me. She was on her way to a bridal shower and was all dressed up. She walked in the house and when she saw me in jeans, a torn shirt, and wearing my tool belt she basically just started shedding her clothes. After that I get really nervous when repairmen would have to go to her house to fix things.
There you have it, that's some of the crazier things I have come across.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
School Night
Ugh, my head is fucking killing me today, I'm getting old. In college I could go out on a Tuesday night for "Penny Pitchers" of Natty Light, stay up until 4am, be in class by 10am, study all day, then be at the bar that night and do it all over again. Now I go out until midnight, have three beers and I am crushed the next day. This blows.
I took Kay to the Toots and the Maytals show last night at the 930 Club. It was a great show and I had a good time. For an old guy Toots put on a killer show. After the show I drove Kay home. There was a little making out in the car in front of her place but nothing more. Kay has plans to head out of town this weekend, but may have to stay for work. If she decides to go on her trip I may try to get together for some late night bedroom aerobics this evening. If she decides to stay in town for the weekend I'm sure we'll meet up at some point. I dig her and am going to try to keep her around.
I have to do a little triage in the dating department. There are a few girls that are leftover from my Internet experiment that I need to cut loose. I have ignored a few Firecracker text messages, I'm not really interested in seeing her again. There is another girl I went out with a few times that I have so little interest in I don't think I even bothered to make up a name for her here. I have blatantly ignored her voice mails and texts, I think that one is pretty much taken care of except that she is my friend on Facebook. What the hell do you do about that? Do you "defriend" them or just ignore the situation altogether. As with most things I am going to ignore and see if it goes away on its own. FYI, her Facebook pages has pictures of her bumping and grinding with a couple of tools at some pool party, which is classy.
Here's a tricky one - Bear. Bear and I have been emailing a bit since I ran into her on the street last month, and it has been a little flirtatious. She said that she is "busy" until July 15th, but can get together anytime after that. I think she is/was dating some Navy dude, so maybe that was the date he shipped out. Bear and I really aren't all that compatible except in the bedroom, but the sex is reason enough to stay in touch with her. She is probably the most sexually enlightened girl I have ever come across, and could probably do a whole blog just on her sexual proclivities. I'm sure she's into some things that never even crossed most peoples' minds.
Honestly, there is one thing that REALLY keeps Bear on my brain. One night at dinner she said that she would be interested in bringing another girl into bed with us. I asked if she had anyone in mind and she responded "anonymous", meaning she was open to suggestions. I don't have the slightest clue how one goes about recruiting for that event, but it certainly is intriguing. I have never had a full-blown threesome before (I have hooked up with two girls at once) but it's something I will do before I die.
I think I am going to stick to my guns about keeping Kay around and try not to get involved with Bear right now.
I took Kay to the Toots and the Maytals show last night at the 930 Club. It was a great show and I had a good time. For an old guy Toots put on a killer show. After the show I drove Kay home. There was a little making out in the car in front of her place but nothing more. Kay has plans to head out of town this weekend, but may have to stay for work. If she decides to go on her trip I may try to get together for some late night bedroom aerobics this evening. If she decides to stay in town for the weekend I'm sure we'll meet up at some point. I dig her and am going to try to keep her around.
I have to do a little triage in the dating department. There are a few girls that are leftover from my Internet experiment that I need to cut loose. I have ignored a few Firecracker text messages, I'm not really interested in seeing her again. There is another girl I went out with a few times that I have so little interest in I don't think I even bothered to make up a name for her here. I have blatantly ignored her voice mails and texts, I think that one is pretty much taken care of except that she is my friend on Facebook. What the hell do you do about that? Do you "defriend" them or just ignore the situation altogether. As with most things I am going to ignore and see if it goes away on its own. FYI, her Facebook pages has pictures of her bumping and grinding with a couple of tools at some pool party, which is classy.
Here's a tricky one - Bear. Bear and I have been emailing a bit since I ran into her on the street last month, and it has been a little flirtatious. She said that she is "busy" until July 15th, but can get together anytime after that. I think she is/was dating some Navy dude, so maybe that was the date he shipped out. Bear and I really aren't all that compatible except in the bedroom, but the sex is reason enough to stay in touch with her. She is probably the most sexually enlightened girl I have ever come across, and could probably do a whole blog just on her sexual proclivities. I'm sure she's into some things that never even crossed most peoples' minds.
Honestly, there is one thing that REALLY keeps Bear on my brain. One night at dinner she said that she would be interested in bringing another girl into bed with us. I asked if she had anyone in mind and she responded "anonymous", meaning she was open to suggestions. I don't have the slightest clue how one goes about recruiting for that event, but it certainly is intriguing. I have never had a full-blown threesome before (I have hooked up with two girls at once) but it's something I will do before I die.
I think I am going to stick to my guns about keeping Kay around and try not to get involved with Bear right now.
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