I talked to ME on the phone last night. I waited two days before calling her then she waited the requisite day before returning the call. Very predictable. What's all the pomp and circumstance about, who needs it? How are you? How was your day? What did you do for dinner? Does she really believe I care about any of those things? Does she really believe that I believe she cares how I answer? Doubtful, it's just two people being polite.
Why can't we just say what's on our minds "So, this is kind of awkward, you know, meeting at a coffee shop and then calling you on a Tuesday night. We have nothing in common at this point, or at least that we know of, so here is a list of things I thought of ahead of time to drag out this conversation just long to convince you I'm not just calling to sleep with you. Ready, here we go...?"
I'm not certain where she was but if I had to guess I would say a monster truck rally. I heard a crowd in the background, lots of cheering, and I swore at one point I heard a funny car engine revving up followed by crushing metal.
So after the usual niceties we did the date-book dance to try and figure out when we could get together for the first of three dates before we slept together or stopped speaking. Tonight was no good, though neither of us gave a good reason why. She's out of town Friday to Sunday. Sunday night I'm going to a concert with Bear. She had something on Monday. She started to ask me to some concert on Tuesday night but then must have remembered she already asked some other guy and rescinded the offer. Wednesday my mom comes to town, Thursday is Thanksgiving. Friday my mom is still in town. Saturday...well who the fuck can plan that far out? I'll tell you who can't, this guy. We left off that we would "talk" sometime next week, which sucks because I have to come up with bullshit to stoke 15 more minutes of benign conversation.
I know I sound bitter, but I'm not. I think I'm just jaded, or maybe bored. I already know what's going to happen, I've seen this movie before. The storyline goes something like this:
Date 1: Weeknight. Drinks someplace nice, maybe dinner. We'll both drink just enough to loosen up but not so much that we get "drunk". Conversation is light with lots of forced laughter. We'll linger a little long after the table is cleared then walk outside. Just before she gets in the cab we'll kiss on the cheek or maybe lips, but no tongue.
Date 2: Weeknight. Same dinner as above then move to another bar for drinks afterwards. Questions will become more personal. She will tell me she's divorced or was engaged or has a tattoo someplace she can't show me and I will feign interest. At the end of the night we'll kiss then go our respective ways because we have work in the morning.
Date 3 - Option 1: Weekend. This will include some sort of activity like shooting or a chilly motorcycle ride. After the activity we'll adjourn at my house for a seemingly impromptu though actually well-planned dinner, which of course will include two bottles of wine. Afterwards we'll go in the hot tub where our clothes will come off followed by fucking and either uncomfortable sleep or an awkward "can you call me a cab" discussion.
Date 3 - Option 2: Weekend. This will include some sort of activity like shooting or a chilly motorcycle ride. After the activity we'll adjourn at my house for a seemingly impromptu though actually well-planned dinner, which of course will include two bottles of wine. Afterwards we'll go in the hot tub where our clothes will stay on and we will make out until we are driven from the tub by heat-induced heart murmurs. Queue the awkward exit and days of strange text messages.
How do I get off this Ferris wheel.
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Yeah, you do sound jaded and bitter
ReplyDeletestop having a patterns to fill out with different women filling your void.
ReplyDeleteyou're half in and half out at all times -- part douchey douche part insecure and it's obvious (but not in a bad way).
you've obvi been burned before (chiche! who hasn't...!) but you're protecting yourself while faking putting yourself out there because you 'feel' like you should or whatever.
don't. don't do it. and if you want to do it, don't. instead, do something that makes you uncomfortable in an unconscious, not thought out, real way that makes you rely on the strengths in others and their own personal worth independent of you and what you might momentarily gain from it.
Why not suggest for her to plan the date and go with it? Or if you're not really interested in getting to know her, why waste the time of dating? It does sound like you're stuck in a dating rut.
ReplyDeleteBreak the pattern and do something different for once...I'm starting feel like the dinner hot tub plan is your only "thing" to get the chick to sleep with you.
ReplyDeletewell, you COULD do what the guy I went out with a few days ago did. Drinks at a nice bar, share a smoke at his car, get in said car, ask for a kiss, makeout... invite to his place Friday nite for "for take out and movie nite".... uh. translation = lets eat and then fuck. Either way, its an old line that any woman worth-while wont fall for. I bailed. not into it. A girl knows a guy's motivation right from the top. Your approach, the skirting of any meaningful conversation and 'feigned interest' is spotted immmedately. FYI. I was just telling a guy friend of mine that men dont know how to DATE A WOMAN anymore. There is NO ROMANCE, no courting and genuine interest in who they are. Its all 'dog and pony' show to get to the main act => fucking. So boring. So predictable. its been forever since a guy took a genuine interest in me as a person.. planned a fun date etc... I thought it was great when you planned the gun range deal etc...but you seem to always want to close the deal with that tired-out-old-dinner-hot tub routine. Even if the girl doesnt know its your M.O. doesnt it wear on YOU? Sounds to me like you are kinda sorta sick of this same ol' story line... again, might be time to stop going for the top model hottest-girl in the room and start noticing the pretty-natural-quiet-not-lusting-over-YOU types... you know, the LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP ONE? i dont know... its just the temp in the air these days...whether its East Coast or West Coast...everyone is single but no one is willing to go the extra mile for that meaningful connection. *sigh*.
ReplyDeleteYou need to take the emphasis OFF trying to score! Pursue some hobby or interest (i.e. volunteer work, etc.) or whatever where you'll meet and get to know people in a real way. Then if you happen to meet a beautiful woman, you'll know right off the bat whether or not she's worth it. This is of course dependent upon you being willing to really let some one in and actually care about them in return. Sounds corny I know, but it's the only way off the ferris wheel.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think you really have no game without that hot tub. Really sad.
ReplyDelete@all the negative anonymous-ers... if the dinner/hot tub thing works, why does he have to switch it up? Who cares?
ReplyDelete@NN... You will get off the ferris wheel as soon as you find someone who you really like. Just gotta wait for the right girl.
Jesus Christ, the interior designer sounds like a real bitch. All high maintenance, and "What can YOU do to entertain ME." Men don't exist to serve you, sweety.
ReplyDelete