Date 4: Not Really A Date

In sales there are cold leads and warm leads. Cold leads usually come from cold calling: picking up the phone and calling a stranger to ask for his or her business. A warm lead comes from a recommendation, someone saying hey, this guy may be able to help you, I'll have him give you a ring.

I think dating is similar. Cold calls in dating are walking up to a stranger on the street and trying to start up a conversation, it's difficult, and in my experience has a low success rate. Warm leads, on the other hand, would be anytime you have a friend in common or know someone from a familiar place. For instance, if you pass someone in your building every morning, or at your local coffee shop, there is a level of face recognition that raises you above "random stranger" status. If you see this person out of your normal context you can even say "hey, aren't you so-and-so from the coffee shop", and now there's connection. Most of my dates come from these relationships.

My apartment building had a greenscape (I know it's a gay term, but that's what it is called) on the roof where I would sometimes let my dag run around. Every once in a while there would be a group of girls up there laying out in the sun. The hound is OK for meeting girls in cases like this, so I usually quietly encourage her to walk in their direction (i.e. run and pounce on them) . There was a group of four girls that I saw up there the most: Anne, Gene, Halley, and Jackie.

One sunny Saturday afternoon this group was on the roof as usual (OK, so I took the dog up there because I figured they would be around) and we talked for a while. They said they were going out in Georgetown for drinks that night and invited me to join them, which I accepted.

That night we went to a few places in Georgetown for drinks. It was Anne, Gene, Halley, Jackie, and three guys and myself. No one was dating anyone, it was just 8 random people hanging out.

The girls: Anne was blond, cute, OK body, somewhat shy. Gene was a crazy New Yorker, decent body, but she had a huge nose. Halley had a great body but was annoying and a bit of a butter-face. Jackie was super hot, really tall, great body, I'm talking about a 8 out of 10, and pretty cool, but spoiled.

After the bars closed we all went back to Anne's apartment for a drink, it was probably 3am. We played asshole for hours. We drank all her beer, all that I had in my apartment, and eventually started on Gene's beer. 4am turned into 5am, and all I wanted to do was hook up, but this was turning into a war of attrition. Two guys had left so it was two guys and four girls, the odds were good. Jackie and Halley tapped out after a grueling round of cards where they must have drank two beers each in ten minutes, they were done. I later learned they took turns throwing up in the toilet. So now it was Gene and Anne, and this ass-clown-guy and I.

I really didn't care much for this dude, and we had both kind of set our sights on nailing Gene, so when she basically passed out mid-hand it was like the showdown at the O.K. Corral. It was clear that one of us was going to hook up with Anne, it was just a matter of being the last man standing.

At 5:30 or 6am the sun started to peak up, and I was toast. I clapped my hands together Vegas dealer style and announced "I'm out". I walked upstairs and promptly puked in my toilet twice. I hadn't thrown up in years and was thoroughly disappointed in myself, I was acting like a sissy. I threw up a third time and felt a little better. I splashed some water on my face and flopped into bed face down and fully clothed, shoes on an all.

Two seconds later I heard faint knocking on my door. I looked through the peep hole and saw Anne standing there..."Ding Ding Ding, and your winner is"...I vaguely recall very awkward, very sloppy sex. There was lots of falling, and fumbling around. The sex wasn't very good for me, and I am sure it was horrible for her.