Date 3: The Spy

My third date is DC was a blind date. Hold on to your seats for the lineage on this set up. My sister-in-law was in Florida visiting her sister. One night the sister had some neighbors over for dinner, and the Spy's mother was in attendance. One thing (and Martini) led to another, and that night at about 1am my sister-in-law calls and wakes me up from a sound sleep to give me the Spy's phone number. I hate blind dates, but I have gotten laid a few times from them, so I figured I had nothing to lose.

D3-Spy: The Spy was OK looking, she was pretty short, had black hair, brown eyes, and a cute body, but you could tell she didn't work out at all. She was non-descript in almost every physical way. However, she seemed like she was fun, and had a raspy Punky Brester voice that was kind of cute. The Spy said she was a "government contractor" which I would later learn is a coy Washington way of saying that either you don't want to tell someone what you do because it is security work, or you have a really mundane job and want to sound mysterious.

I talked to the Spy on the phone once or twice, and we decided to go to an Italian Festival by judiciary square one Sunday afternoon. We walked around for a while, but the place was pretty weak, the food was lousy, and there were maybe three Italians there, it was all tourists. We walked towards Chinatown and decided to go to the Spy Museum, which I believe was my suggestion

Side note: The Spy Museum sucks.

As we walked through the museum I noticed two things that would later lead me to believe that Spy Girl may have been somehow involved in espionage. The first is that she was very quiet and unimpressed as we walked through the gallery of spy technology, and even commented on how some things have been much improved since the days of old. She also knew a ton about past US spies suspected and/or convicted of treason. I realize there are lots of explanations for these things, and that they don't prove anything, but I wanted to point it out. I also remembered that my sister-in-law mentioned that The Spy traveled a lot and couldn't tell her mom where she was most of the time. Whatever, not really important.

I was starving by the time we finished the rip-off spy tour, so I suggested we cook some pasta, since we were both craving it after the Italian Festival that had no Italian food. We stopped at a store and picked up a bottle of wine and some groceries.

Back at my house we made penne with vodka sauce, drank a bad bottle of Merlot, and chatted. I really wasn't all that into the Spy, she was dull, but we started making out on the couch anyway. Most of our clothes were off within fifteen minutes, but nothing was really happening, just a lot of heavy petting. The Spy was neither fun to hang out with, nor make out with, so after an hour of that I made an excuse to get her out of there.

The Spy called and left a message the next day saying that she had enjoyed herself and suggested we go out again. I had didn't call her back for a few days and then received another message from her basically saying the same thing. Again, I didn't call her back right away, but I actually intended to. I was regularly getting laid with Kate from D2, but that wasn't going to stop me from nailing the Spy, I was just distracted and never got around to calling her that week. After the first week, though, I wanted to call her back but was embarrassed to after two unanswered calls. One night I saw her number come up on my phone and was really surprised to see her calling again, but there was no way I was going to answer. The Spy's third message was probably what you would expect, she lambasted me for being an asshole and not returning her calls. I felt guilty but didn't feel too badly, it's not like I slept with her or anything.

After the third call I never heard from the Spy again. However, my sister-in-law did call me a month later (again from Florida at her sister's house) and said that she met the Spy, and that she did not have nice things to say about me. All I could do was admit I was kind of jerk to her.