Date 5: Strawberry Shortcake

Halloween is my favorite night of the year, hands down. It's like Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday and New Year's Eve all wrapped into one. It has everything; candy, slutty costumes, parties, slutty costumes. I love it.

After a recently parting ways with Kate, and not really enjoying being around Anne, I made plans to go to Georgetown with some friends on Halloween without her. She had to work the next day, and I did a little tap dance to make her think I was just going out for drinks, but I was psyched for going out in costume.

I decided to dress up as "Ceasar Salad", I wore a toga and pinned lettuce and croutons all over it, and it got pretty good reviews.

We started off at a party in Columbia Heights, then moved on to The Guards in Georgetown. After that I think we went to Jared's, or whatever the name of the place right next door is. I was a solid ten years older than most people in either of these bars, but I consider myself incredibly immature, so I fit right in. Some kid was dressed up like Screach from Saved By The Bell and I proceeded to snap his suspenders everytime he walked by me. After three or four times Screach was furious. I explained I was just kidding around, and that I wouldn't do it anymore. But I just couldn't resist, and as soon as he began to walk away I twanged his suspenders again, this time stretching them as far as they would go. Screach went wild, he came right after me. The bouncers hadn't seen what led up to his outburst, so they dragged him out of the bar. The whole time he screamed he was going to wait out front for me and kick my ass when I left. Whatever, it was Screach.

My antics with Screach had caught the eye of Strawberry Shortcake who thought it was funny. She introduced herself and we had a shot together.

D5-Strawberry Shortcake (SS): I don't know SS's name, so I don't have to make one up here. She told me 10 times, but I just don't remember. SS had a smoking hot body, but her face was really mediocre. She was about 5'9", great butt, a really nice chest, brown hair, and she had eyes, but I don't recall the color.

SS's outfit for the night was a tiny skirt, a very tight fitting top, and a floppy little hat. The costume looked like it was made to fit an eight year old, but it was great on her. With such a tiny skirt I asked SS what kind of underwear she could possibly be wearing? She turned around and lifted the side of her skirt to reveal a thin pink band of lace-rimmed underwear. They weren't a thong, but rather those little ones where each cheek hangs out a bit. They were superb.

As it turns out SS and I went to the same college, although she was in 8th or 9th grade when I graduated. SS was working as a flight attendant for a while because she wanted to see the world before going to law school.

We stayed at the bar for another hour, then snuck out with a group of people (a friend called me to tell me that Screach was in fact waiting outside for me to leave). SS and I jumped in a cab together, and she asked if we could go to my place. Since Anne lived in my building I was sure I would get caught, so we made the long trip to her place in Shirlington. SS had a flight-attendant roommate and asked me to be quiet coming in. We made our way to her bedroom and started hooking up.

We were both buck naked, but SS said we couldn't have sex. I was obviously disappointed, but figured it was best since I didn't have any condoms sewn into the liner of my toga. SS was a little kinky, though, and allowed me to call her Strawberry Shortcake in bed. This was especially nice (and convenient) since I didn't know her name. SS also wanted most of my hand in her while I went down on her, and screamed uncontrollably when she came, which was amusing to me after she asked me to tip-toe through her house so I didn't wake her roommate. SS also insisted I finish on her chest, but cautioned me not to get anything on her face. Chicks are freaking crazy, I love it.

Morning brought the typically awkward ritual of gathering my clothing. I had the added joy of asking four-fingers for a ride back to the city so I wouldn't have to shell out another $30 for a cab ride. She reluctantly agreed. I still didn't know her name and it was becoming really unconfortable at this point. She handed me her keys and said she would be right out, her Isuzu was in front. When I got in her car I frantically looked through her glove box for her registration, but saw that her car was registered in har dad's name. Oh well, Strawberry Shortcake it is.

We drove into the city and I had SS drop me off about two blocks from my house in case Anne was outside walking her dog. When she stopped the car we exchanged numbers, though neither of us ever called the other.

As I walked home in my toga covered in wilted Romaine lettuce I did run into Anne walking her dog. I explained that I got drunk in Georgetown and slept at my buddy's place. I growled and made some other noises when she asked how I got home, and I rushed inside to get some sleep