Jesus I'm bored lately. I literally have no excitement in my life. Am I old enough to be having a mid life crisis?
The last two books I read were Rogue Warrior and A Dawn Like Thunder, both of which are about being in the Navy. I have to tell you, it really makes me want to go and join the Navy so that I can kill people with impunity. I've always had a violent streak, maybe a government funded strafing run is what I need to get out of this funk.
The tipping point of my mood came last Saturday at a baby christening. I was sipping a Heineken and listening to this little Vietnamese chick telling me about her job in retail, her monthly trips to Vegas and NYC, and how all the restaurants in DC were "soooooo awful". She was really attractive until she opened her mouth, and once it was open all I wanted was for it to shut. Each syllable made me loathe her more.
It really wasn't even about her, though, it was about who and what she represented. Prada retail and the people who shopped there. Fuck seven dollar coffees and cars that parallel park themselves. Fuck the south Beach diet, "Rehab" at the Hard Rock in Vegas, pedicures, walk-in closets, people who can't cross a street properly, Kardashians, and yes, people who "blog". Fuck me too.
I talked to my buddy Chuck this morning and he said "you just need a new piece of ass", but I doubt that's it. I thought about volunteering, but I'm pretty sure I need something physical and/or violent, like boxing or hunting wild boar with a knife. The only downside is if the boar wins, then you look like a jerk because really it's just a pig that lives in the wild. I'll pass on that.
Then he said "you need to buy something", I said "like a sandwich?" and he said "no, like another property". True, that would help, but the banks have cut me off for at least a few more months, so that's out.
I'm just looking for some fun. My biggest thrill is my daily four mile motorcycle commute. Is this really what life is about; work five days, take two off, repeat? Wouldn't it be cool to sail around the world, or hike the Himalayas, or ride a horse to the tip of Patagonia.
I can't help but think that my priorities are out of line. There are so many cool things to experience in life and I only get three weeks off a year to do them. That's not enough time. Maybe the answer is to lower my standard of living and work less. I should quit my job and...I don't know, pick figs during the harvest season and backpack the Rockies the rest of the year.
Or maybe I just need a new piece of ass.
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I think Chuck is right.
ReplyDeleteI feel this way every single day. And I only get 10 days off a year for sick time and vacation. FML.
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteGlad I'm not the only one who feels this way. My advice would be to take a vacation, buy something why you're out there, and find a new piece of ass while you're there...
ReplyDeleteTake leave from your job, go to Europe or whatever country you want with only enough money to get home, and travel and explore and work for each day. That will give you some more purpose. The American life seems so empty at times...I agree. I know that I never want a big fancy house or car because I would rather spend my money on experiences than material things.
ReplyDeleteI go through phases like this too. I don't have any helpful advice other than to acknowledge what you've written.
ReplyDeleteIf you didn't let Tiny have an abortion, maybe you would have a purpose in life. Caring and providing for a child is one of the great joys and what life is about! Think about it...
ReplyDeleteTo me you sound like you're going stale from lack of a meaningful challenge or risk.
ReplyDeleteYou can get excitement from climbing to new heights and/or risking a fall from a great height.
I wouldn't recommend sky diving or bungee jumping (too superficial and brief), more like some crazy left field choice like writing some poetry and then reading it onstage in some cafe having open mike night.
Then there's your idea about volunteering.
If you got into a position to help one person or a few people on an ongoing basis, something like coaching teens who need guidance, even if you just taught them something like boxing, that might infuse your other routine with fresh resonance.
Good Luck.
Oh yeah, having a kid would've been a great idea. That would've solved everything.
ReplyDeleteThis is the whole problem with hopping from one "piece of ass" to another. It seems cool and glamorous while you're doing it, but in the "lean" times or when you're no longer young/hot/rich enough, you're left with nothing.
ReplyDelete