Gym Girl

I just walked back into my building from lunch and Gym Girl came in behind my friend and I. She's like 6'2" with heels on, she towers over me. I still haven't figured out how I am going to meet her. I was half-hoping she got on the elevator so I could say something to her. I was only "half" hoping because I generally become a full-blown retard in those scenarios and blow it.

Case and point: For a year I used to see the same girl at Dunkin Donuts each morning. She was always either way in front of me or way behind me in line. One morning she was right in front of me, though, so I kept trying to get her attention. In typical big-dumb-animal style I decided to take a pound of coffee off a free standing display and ask her if she had tried it. Instead, I picked up the pound of coffee, my coat sleeve caught the edge of the display, and I knocked the whole thing over. Bags of coffee flew everywhere and the whole store let out a collective groan. I was left holding the only bag that didn't hit the ground. If my body came equipped with a self-destruct button I would have pushed it then.