Gym and Fat People

The cute chick was in the gym last night. She ran for well over an hour and never looked up from the TV screen. I worked out and left, I never had an opportunity to say anything to her. She has great legs, but no butt and no chest. She's cute, though.

Time for another rant.

I am generally a fairly accepting person, and certainly would not consider myself a bigot (in general). However, there is one group that I am intolerant of, and that's fat people. Actually, it's not even all fat people, it's morbidly obese people that don't take responsibility for their weight.

Example: Last year I boarded a plane from NY to San Diego. My seat was on the isle of a two-seat row. My "neighbor" was a 250-300 pound woman. She boarded the plane before me, and had been kind enough to lift the arm rest between our seats because she couldn't fit in just one seat. I would say that she was spilling into at least 1/3 of my seat, and when I arrived at the seat she didn't even look up at me. I wasn't about to sit in 2/3 of a seat that is already 50% too small for 5 hours. I told her that she either had to put the armrest down or find another place to sit. She was incredulous, but I didn't give a shit. Take responsibility for your "condition", if you can't fit into one seat buy two. Can't afford it, don't fucking fly, keep your fat ass in NY. Why should I be inconvenienced because you can't control your urge to eat?

Let's take a step back for a moment. I'm not heartless, if it was a woman with cancer and she had an IV bag that had to hang in my face for the whole flight I would be fine with that. She is sick, she didn't choose to get cancer (let's assume she didn't smoke). Fat people aren't sick, they're just lazy. In a way they choose to get fat by choosing to overeat. They know: fruit-good, cake-bad, but still pick the cake.

Let's face it, everyone knows how you get fat, you stuff too much junk in that hole in the center of your face. Here's a group that should be lined up and shot; the assholes who sue McDonald's because they sold them food that is high in fat! What, McDonald's isn't good for you? Who knew? This has to be the same group that hasn't heard smoking is bad for you.

Another example: I work with a woman who is gi-fucking-gantic. I would say she's at least two bills but she's only 5'1". I have spent weeks with her working on projects, sometimes 12 hours per day. In the morning she has a giant Starbucks coffee, but not just a regular one. She orders the huge thing with the whipped cream, and chocolate and carmel drizzled on top, then puts about half a dozen sugar packets in it. It looks like a Dairy Queen sundae. At lunch she orders a salad, but it's covered with ham and bacon and everything else on the buffet, and then is drowned in some cheese-based dressing. You can't even see the lettuce anymore. Then she has the balls to tell everyone at the table that she's doing so well on her "diet" and has only had a coffee and salad all day..."You had an eight fucking hundred calorie coffee!!!". Her salad has more fat than my cheeseburger.

What brought on this tirade is that yesterday in the locker room there was a guy in there that weighed about 300 pounds. He was so big that he was having serious trouble just putting on his socks. He was sitting on a bench in his tighty-whities with a sock in each hand trying to psych himself up to put them on. It was almost a gymnastic routine for him to swing his leg up high enough that he could grab his ankle and quickly throw on a sock. After one foot he was breathing like he was delivering a baby, and I stuck around for a while just in case he had a heart attack on the second one. However, this guy was taking responsibility for his weight. I've seen him in the gym before and he's working out. I felt bad for the guy and wanted to help him (workout, not with the socks). This guy knows that you have to exercise if you want to lose weight.

My favorite fat group are the ones that think there are easy ways to lose weight. The South Beach Diet, the Atkins Diet, the raw food diet, and all that other bullshit. "Oh, I'll have a bacon cheeseburger, but no bun on top, carbs are fattening." Bullshit, carbs aren't fattening, FAT is fucking fattening. If you're fat, and you think that carbs are fattening, your fat because you have no idea how to eat healthy. My ancestors ate pasta twice a day for 700 years, and none of them were overweight. They just ate reasonable portions and worked hard.

If you learn to eat right you will never have to diet a day in your life. Adopt a healthy lifestyle and you can eat as much as you want.

I was a wrestler for a long time, so I consider myself an expert at losing weight. Here's the secret - Burn more calories than you consume. That's it, it's very simple. If I wrote a book the title would be that, "Burn more calories than you consume". My book would have no pages because everything you need to know is on the cover.

"I don't have time to exercise". This is my favorite thing to hear. I once saw a billboard in the side of a runners supply store in Manhattan that said "Someone busier than you found time to run today" and showed an old guy running in the park at night. I love that billboard. Did you ever notice that fat people are always the ones waiting for the elevator while the fit people are walking up the stairs? Don't talk to me about time no time to exercise. Oh, and don't say that you have bad genes, or a slow metabolism. I suppose your bad genes prevent you from walking up the stairs?

OK, I'm done, go about your day.