Two weeks ago my buddy, Uncle Charlie, sent me an email that said only "what are you doing weekend of 28th" in the subject line. I said I didn't have anything going on. His reply was "Hamptons. Bernie coming out...". Done and done. I immediately booked a flight.
I'll give a full update next week if I'm not dead or incarcerated, but it is probably helpful to understand who I am hanging out with this weekend. Uncle Charlie is my very good friend from college and the guy I went away with two years ago to Argentina and Uruguay. Bernie is his friend and business partner from Buenos Aires. My guess is their combined net worth is some positive number followed by seven, eight or even nine zeros. If you saw them in a club you would either think they were the scariest stock brokers alive or very well dressed drug lords. These men do not embrace moderation and even a two-night excursion in a place as benign as Long Island may well lead to rehab (drug or physical), federal indictments, sex with (but never in) Ford Models, or all three.
Just packing for this type of weekend stresses me out. Do I need a black suit? A white suit. A sub-machine gun? Parachute? Bear repellent? - No, it won't be exactly like last time. Fuck it, I'll just bring a lot of cash and my passport.
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omg. i have to wait for next week? ROCK N' ROLL! do everything and anything!! oh, take condoms. Duh.
ReplyDeleteDamn. I so can't wait to hear what happens. You forgot to include condoms!
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