Tenant

I have a house in Georgetown under contract and will close on it this coming Tuesday. The seller gave me a set of keys so I have been showing it to prospective tenants all week in the hopes of getting it rented for August 1st. There has been a steady stream of beautiful girls through the door this week. It seems statistically impossible that there are so many hotties looking for housing in one area.

I had seven showings last Monday night. The first time I show a place I'm like a carnival showman. I point out "cute" details in the house (chicks LOVE cute!), I crack jokes, say how great the place will be for entertaining, walk them through the huge yard, the whole bit. By appointment number four my sales pitch is reduced to "So, this is it, take a look around, I'll be in the living room." It's not that I mind showing the place, it's that I can't stand the questions: How big is this closet? What is the rent, again? What year was this house built? Will these shrubs be trimmed, they attract squirrels. Will that smell go away before we move in? I like renting to dudes, they check to make sure the fridge is big enough to hold four cases of beer then they hand you the check. Chicks are the worst. In case you're wondering, the answers to the questions were: Big enough. It was in the ad. What does it matter. No. And probably not, I think it's coming from you.

The one bright spot of an otherwise aggravating day on Monday was this cute brunette who came through the house. I spoke to her roommate last Sunday who said she would like to come by and check out the house. On Monday she had a scheduling conflict so she sent the brunette instead. I'll call her Tenant.

Tenant: She's about 5'5", early-to-mid twenties, dark wavy hair and dark brown eyes. Tenant came by after work and had on a skirt and some sort of tank top-shirt. Her arms were ripped, she clearly spent some time in the gym, but she wasn't sinewy or overly muscular. Her body was great. The best thing, though, was that she just had a great personality. She was chipper, seemed smart, laughed a lot but without being ditsy.

I thought that Tenant was interested in the house and didn't want to screw it up by asking her out. It's been a few days now, and I think I have a group of girls who are taking it, so I may try to get hold of Tenant. I don't have her number, but I do have her roommate's. I would have to call the roommate and somehow ask her if tenant is single, and if so, if I could get her number. I've done some zany things to get a girls number before, but this certainly ranks high on the "This guy is a stalker" scale.

What the fuck do I have to lose, though? Dignity? Please, I sold out of that years ago.