Red Mercedes

I'm obviously in the midst of a sex recession.

Wednesday night I was walking the dog to the park and spotted this very cute chick getting out of her brand new perfectly waxed and polished red Mercedes SLK. She looked like she was just coming from the gym, all sweaty and in shorts and a t-shirt, but she was still really attractive.

Naturally, as I walked by, the dog stopped and took a monster shit on the sidewalk right next to her sparkling Benz. There really is no way of regaining your mojo after you've picked up half a pound of warm dog shit with a Home Depot bag, though. So, with warm shit in hand I nodded and walked off.

An hour later while I was on my way back home I saw my local meter-maid scooting up the street on his Segway. I was fifteen feet away from the Mercedes and he rolled up to the hottie's car and started to punch her info into his little machine. The dude is a younger African American guy with dreads that I see in the neighborhood all the time. While he was writing the ticket I said "Ah man, the girl who owns this car is hot, smoking hot, you can't give her a ticket!". He said "Who, this red car here?" I said "Yeah, I just saw the girl park it a little while ago, and she's incredible looking, you should let it go this time." He said "Really, she's that good looking?" I nodded and he said "Oh, yeah then, fuck it. But next time you see her you gotta tell her the only reason she didn't get a $50 ticket is because of you." Then he scooted off to his next victim.

So, Red Mercedes Hottie parked on 10th Street, you owe me, wherever you are.