Mistaken Identity

Last week I was thinking to myself how well things were going with ME. We have fun together, the sex is great, we have similar interests, I'm content. On Friday I started to write a post called "Knock on Wood" because things were going so well (which a portion of the name was accidently posted). Then the shit hit the fan Friday evening.

I skipped out of work a little early Friday afternoon. I had plans to get dinner with ME, my sister, and her new boyfriend later on the Hill. The weather was great and I raced home so I could take the hound out for a long walk in the park before dinner. While I was driving, and just a few blocks from home, I rolled a stop sign. As I darted across the intersection I saw a flash of auburn hair out of the corner of my left eye and realized I had almost clipped a pedestrian as she stepped off the sidewalk into the street. When I got across the street I waved to the person I almost hit then slowed down, looked in my review mirror and was very surprised to see it was Bartender. She smiled at me then crossed the street in my direction.

I never gave the full story on what happened with Bartender. In short, things with ME were getting more serious so I let Bartender fade off. She was going away for a few weeks so it was an easy transition. There were no hard feelings, she just thought we ran out of time to see each other before she left, and that was that.

I had pulled off to the side of the road and opened my passenger door. Bartender came over to the car and we chatted for a few minutes about her trip. She looked great. She was tan and wearing a short pair of shorts, and a very low-cut shirt. She said she was late for work but that she would give me a call so we could get a drink and catch up. I nodded and she closed the door and walked away. As I drove off I wasn't sure if my nod meant I would take her up on her offer of a getting a drink together or if it was just a polite reflex.

Fast forward a few hours. ME, my sister, her boyfriend and I had a cocktail at my house then headed to the restaurant for dinner. My sister picked a restaurant I go to fairly often on dates, but I never thought it would be an issue.

When we sat down th waiter, who I know, said "Stoli on the rocks, NN.", then turned to ME and said something like "Nice to see you again, ME" saying her name, which shocked the shit out of both of us. ME said "Wow, you remember my name?", and the waiter went on to say "Yes, the last time you came in you and NN sat at the bar and you had on ...", the waiter, who is very gay, went on to describe ME's outfit from her last visit in great detail. When he was done he took the rest of the drink orders then walked away. Then ME turned to me and said "Who have you been coming here with, because we've never sat at the bar together, and I don't own anything like the outfit he just described"

I was caught off guard and became defensive. I've been to that restaurant many times with Bear, who may not look much like ME but does have a close enough resemblance to warrant the confusion. However, I did take DGII to this restaurant for our one date and she does look very much like ME, though I didn't think this guy was our waiter that night. Whether the waiter was describing ME from the last time we were there but got the outfit wrong, was confusing her for some other customer, or was describing another girl that I had in fact gone there with another evening (albeit, not very recently) the effect was the same: ME was pissed.

So, shocked, and on the defensive, I said "Well, I did have a life before I met you", meaning, perhaps there is chance he is confusing you with another girl that I brought here before we met. Instead of making things better, this infuriated ME who said about seven words throughout the remainder of dinner.

After dinner ME and I got in the car and headed back to her house, since we had planned to spend the night there. Halfway to her house she still hadn't said a word to me, so I said "Are you going to sulk all night or are we going to talk about this?". I don't remember exactly what she said, but the gist was "you're an asshole".

If I take a step back and reverse the roles, I probably wouldn't have been happy if a waiter confused me for another one of ME's dates (if that is even the case), but I think I would have handled it better than she did. Actually, I was angry because I have been trying to be a good guy, and now she thought I was cheating on her when I wasn't. So, for the rest of the night all I could think was "Well, if she is going to think I'm cheating, I may as well get the benefit of it and give Bartender a call."

I didn't do that, though. We stayed up late and fought. Finally, at about 1am, all the cheese I ate at dinner caught up with me and I became doubled-over in pain as the lactic acid from the cheese made knots of my intestines then violently exited me. At that point ME went to bed and I caught up on the fascinating advances in cell research from the only reading material she had in the bathroom, which was some scientific digest.

In the morning we made up two or three times. No word from Bartender.